Food 
“I always end up giving my food to my child.” Does this sound familiar? We are not talking about sharing, or a bite, but giving your snack or meal away. Your child just ate her snack, he just had his lunch, but now they are looking at you and your food. You. The food. You. The food. All you wanted was to eat your orange, sandwich or crackers in peace, but then your tiny human wants it. CAN’T I JUST EAT THE WHOLE THING JUST THIS ONCE?!
Try this: “No, this is mine. I would like to eat this. You have yours (I can get you your own).” You are allowed to eat. You are in no way depriving your child of food. There is a fridge FULL of food. He may even have a plate full of food – food that he asked for. Yes, sharing is great, but if you want to eat that apple, eat it. Eat. Your. Apple.
Bathroom Time
How beautiful would it be just to pee in peace? By yourself. Door closed. Just 3 minutes alone? Why can’t this happen? Some kids are just too young to leave in a room alone, so yes, safety can be a reason that you do not get to hit the bathroom solo. A 3-year-old can be left for a few minutes in a safe space while you go off to do your business.
Saying, “NO” is tough. You let your child come with you because, if not, they turn into a sobbing mess on the floor. You are coming back. You are coming back in 2 minutes. You are 3 feet away. It’s gonna be OK. I’m not that modest a person. I don’t mind company in the commode from time to time. It is also a great way to get kids into potty training. They see you do it and want to as well. They see that everyone pottys. But sometimes, sommmetiiimes, you just want to go alone. DO IT. Take back your potty time and get 3 minutes of solitude.
Your Body
You love your kids. You love to hug and snuggle ‘em, but there are those times you just want to be free. You want a moment when someone is not hanging on you. Jumping on you. Climbing up you. You want your body back – and ya know what? That is OK! You can want space. You can say, “I will read this to you, but please sit next to me, not on me.” You can say, “You can stand with me, but I am not going to pick you up right now.” There will be tears. There will be tantrums. There will also be valuable lessons.
Your children will discover that you are a person with needs, and your needs need to be met. Your children will also learn that people can set boundaries when it comes to their bodies. That a body only belongs to one person and is not owed to anyone else. Good lesson right? Most of all, it will feel so much better for everyone involved when the snuggles are genuine. When you are GIVING the snuggles and hugs and attention and it is not being taken.
I often tell clients that if you give all of yourself to your children, you will have nothing left to give. So go out there and share food with your kids, potty as a team, and snuggle – but also set boundaries. Eat that sandwich that you have been waiting for, potty solo, and give your body the room and space that it needs so that you can be the parent that you want to be. Everyone’s needs need to be met – yes, even YOURS.
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.
