In case you missed this extremely helpful teleclass, presented by Debbie Pincus, here is a link to the taped class on Scream Free Parenting.
Please check out Debbie’s special offer for private in-person or phone/Sype sessions on Calm Parenting for Mommybites moms!
Debbie, a family therapist for over 30 years, presented her most effective philosophy on calm parenting. Here are some of our favorite quotes from the Scream Free theory by founder Hal Runkel:
- I wish we could parent our own kids like we parent our neighbor’s kids.
- It is your job as a parent to lead your child into adulthood.
- “Emotional-reactivity-free parenting” is really what ScreamFree is all about.
- Our greatest enemy in terms of relationships is our own emotional reactivity, which is our own immaturity. If we can eliminate this, we can have a huge positive influence on our children.
- We cannot give our kids the impression that the whole world revolves around them.
- We always complain that our kids can push our buttons, but who gave them the remote control in the first place?
- Parents need to ask themselves, “What am I doing to create the problems I am actually complaining about?”
- We can’t expect our kids to respect us until we respect them first. If you lose it and yell at your kids, then apologize.
- Parenting and marriage are two of the most important relationships in the world. It is not supposed to be easy. It is supposed to be challenging. It makes us grow up. And who says that hard things are bad?
- What do you recommend for helping children do their chores without constantly reminding them? They have to take responsibility for it and then we all have to suffer the consequences if they don’t do it.
- How do you handle temper tantrums? You need to get calmer and not throw a temper tantrum yourself. The temptation is to either scream or ignore it. You need to surround them with your calm. When you are calm, you eventually get calming. It may take time, but it happens.
- Your job is not to make your kids’ decisions for them. Your job is to point out the choices they do and do not have. That gives them a sense of ownership.
- We all have the same hope. We want our kids to someday become good decision makers. Problem is that many of us don’t want to help them learn this skill and make all decisions for them. We need to let them make decisions and feel consequences of both good and bad decisions.
- Anger cannot be released. When we think we are venting, it isn’t going anywhere, it is just being resent through us. The idea is not that we need to vent but to acknowledge what is bothering you and make adjustments accordingly. When you think you are venting to someone, you are really just vomiting on them!
- What kids need most are parents who do NOT need them to make them feel loved or warm or appreciated. It’s the parents job to get those needs met.
Check out Mommybites Co-Founders’ New York Family interview with Scream Free Parenting guru, Hal Runkel.
Debbie runs in-person and phone/skype sessions on the scream free philosophy in order to help parents to apply this theory to their own personal family struggles. If you’d like to contact Debbie privately, please feel free to reach her via: