Seriously, the kids only want me, Mommy. Food, drinks, bath, bed, changing, everything is me. I’m exhausted. What can I do?
Ahhh, yes, Mommycentric time. They only want you, but that just cannot be. You will be tired, angry, and resentful and that is no way to live.
What to do?
Number one, talk to your partner. Let them know that you will be divvying up the jobs as they come whether the kids want it that way or not. Sometimes they get choices, sometimes YOU do.
Now as you know, I am always honest, so here it goes, there WILL be tantrums. A few loud, long tantrums. Let those tantrums happen. Walk away if you must but let it go and stick to what you say. For example:
“Mommy I want a snack but I can’t reach it.” “OK, ask Daddy, I am in the middle of something.” “NOOOOO!!!! IT HAS TO BE YOUUUUUU.” “If you are really hungry you will ask Daddy or you won’t have a snack right now. It’s up to you.”
End it there, no more talking. Walk away if you must.
I can hear it now: “But they are hungry. They need food.” If they are really hungry they will ask their father or other guardian. Also, let’s be honest, no healthy kid was harmed buy not getting a bowlful of goldfish immediately. This goes for bath, bedtime, and whatever parts of the day are Mommycentric.
Decide ahead of time who will person those times and stick to it. As I always say, “If you give all to your child you will have nothing left to give.” Yes, it will be hard at first, hearing your child cry, but it is important for your child to understand that you have needs too. You cannot jump because they say jump.
Tantrums because the other parent is doing diaper time. OK, they are stuck, you know that one, it’s my fave. They cannot go back to playing until the diaper is changed. The kids will figure out fast that if they want their needs met that they will have to accept help from everyone in the home, not just MOM (or Dad, or one grown up over another, as this happens as well).
Sticking to this plan will give you more energy and melt those frustrated feeling and bring everyone even closer.
Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.
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