It’s amazing that we are already back to school! Summer really comes and goes so quickly. As a clinical psychologist and expert in anxiety disorders, I’m well versed in some of the concerns that arise as kids transition back to school, face new social situations, and confront some new (and maybe not so new) fears.
Many kids love school and look forward to the excitement that comes with meeting a new teacher, seeing familiar friends, and getting ready for the new year. However, change can also be stressful—and that certainly includes going back to school, switching from a summer to a fall routine, and adjusting to an earlier bedtime. That’s why it’s normal and expected for kids to “push back” and test some limits at the beginning of the school year. “Why do I have to go to bed earlier?” or “Why do I have to go back to school?” are questions that may arise.
The good news is that most kids are resilient and cope well when they have good adult models and factual information about what’s to come. Parents can help kids understand that change and transition are a normal part of life and that adults can help kids feel comfortable about changes if they’re feeling worried.
It’s also important for parents to know what behaviors to look out for and pay more attention to as the weeks tick by. A child who is a little sad or anxious for a day or two, or who presents with sporadic oppositional or defiant behavior is par for the course. Who hasn’t had a bad day? However, changes in behavior or mood that are more persistent, and that interfere with a child’s ability to do his/her job as a kid (be part of a family, go to school, have fun), are cause for concern.
Children might not verbalize how they are feeling, so paying attention to changes in sleep, appetite, interest in activities, and overall mood is key. Children often show their anxiety through somatic concerns, which are complaints about things like headaches, stomachaches, and other physical problems. It’s important to help kids understand that their bodies send messages when in distress. These body concerns feel real, but in the absence of a real medical condition, they are likely signals that the child is in distress or anxious. I like to tell kids that their brains can “trick” them sometimes into thinking that they are sick when in fact they are really upset or scared. Knowing that and then facing fears is really important.
Parents who are anxious themselves upon a return to school or season change should seek support from other adults, (e.g. spouse, friends) because kids are excellent at picking up on how parents are feeling and it’s very important to serve as a non-anxious role model.
What should you do if you have real concerns? The Child Mind Institute offers a Symptom Checker screening tool that can highlight possible mental health conditions and guide adults toward next steps for getting care. Another valuable resource is Parents Guide for Getting Good Care, that can help caregivers navigate the process of mental health evaluation and treatment.
Parents are in the position of setting expectations for children and providing a calm and supportive model for coping with anxiety and change. Hopefully now you are in a better position to observe and note possible areas of concern to make sure your children are happy and healthy this school year!
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Rachel Busman, PsyD, of the Child Mind Institute, is a clinical psychologist specializing in the evaluation and treatment of anxiety and mood disorders in children and adolescents. Dr. Busman earned her doctoral degree from the University of Hartford’s Graduate Institute of Professional Psychology. She completed both her pre-doctoral internship and post doctoral fellowship at the Institute of Living in Hartford, Connecticut, specializing in the treatment of children and adolescents. Dr. Busman has been featured as a clinical expert on NBC’s TODAY Show, MSNBC and CNN and is a contributor for Parents.com.
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