Potty Training Troubles

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My kid is potty trained but now just pees on herself because she just doesn’t wanna stop playing. Now what?

Ahhhh, kids are funny.

You would think that they would care about being wet, and some do BUT there are some that couldn’t care less. They’re busy, they’re painting, they’re working through a power play thing with you. There are many reasons why kids do this, but that’s not what ya came for. You came for a solution.

Whenever there is gonna be a life change or expectation change or discipline change, I like parents to have a talk with the child. “So, while accidents are OK, you seem to be peeing on yourself quite a lot. What’s going on?”

Your child may or may not have an answer. 

“OK, well here’s the thing. It’s not good for your body for you to pee on yourself and just keep playing. You could get an itchy or ouchy rash and we can’t have that. When I say it’s potty time, it is potty time. I will watch your work (or they can bring the work). If you don’t go potty I will have to close (put away) what you are playing with since it is too distracting and causing you not to pee in the potty.”

So you start with the talk.

You also stop asking if she needs to go potty. This is a mistake many grown-ups make – asking. In grown-up society, we ask a lot of things and we know that many things asked are not really being asked. They are requests – possibly demands – but we seem to feel more comfortable making them in the form of a question:

“Can you get that report to me by 5pm?” That’s no question, that’s a request or demand. Kids don’t understand this. They are like, “You asked, I said, NO – where is the confusion here?”

Instead tell her it’s time to potty. “It’s time to try to go potty. I will watch your things so no one takes them.”

Kids get really worried that someone will take their stuff, even only kids. They think someone will drop out of nowhere and mess up their hard work. Saving it or letting her take a part with her may make her more confident about the safety of her prized endeavor.

Some kids are just asserting their power, as they like to do. 

This is when you can close the thing that they are playing with. No need to yell or even be angry, just be clear. “Bud, it’s time to go potty. I know you’re saying no and having fun, but there have been lots of accidents lately. I need you to go and I will save your Lego tower. If you don’t go I will close this since it’s too distracting and keeping you from peeing in the potty.”

Your kid is NOT gonna thank you.

You might get a huff or tantrum or someone storming off to the bathroom, but that’s OK. It’s not your job to make your kid happy all of the time.

When everything is calm, talk about the situation and be clear that going in the potty IS important and when she does so on her own then you will stop telling her to go. Accidents are FINE but when kids deliberately pee so they can continue to play, you do need to have some reactions for that action.

You got this.

Continue to nail that mentoring of the art of pottying, and those accidents will be gone in no time!


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