Preparing Yourself for the Realities of Adoption

adopted family
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Adoption can be a world full of fantastic adventure, and it can also be the most beautiful thing in the world. However, some realities should be examined before you dive headfirst into it.

While the “end” of adoption will bring you a family, you have to prepare yourself first. There are several things to keep in mind before embarking on the adoption journey –  such as cost, age of the child, and how to find support for yourself.

Cost of Adoption

Many parents are going to ask what the cost of adoption is going to be. This can vary from state to state and from agency to agency and can be anywhere from $0-$40,000. Many different factors contribute to this extensive range.

The factors can range from the age of the child to a specific agency. The cost of adoption may also vary depending on the type of adoption you have, of which in New York, there are many. If you go from foster care to adoption, the cost could be nothing at all, but it depends on the state.

What you need to be prepared for is the fact that there is an extensive price range. However, you may not have to pay for it all on your own. You can find programs from state to state that can help.

There are other costs that you’ll need to factor in, like legal fees. You will also have to take into account that you will have a home study. These charges are often covered, but if they are not, home studies can range from $1,000-$3,000.

Knowing all these numbers shouldn’t scare you away from adoption, though. Just know going in, you have to be prepared and financially stable. Talk to your agency and make sure that they are upfront with you about the costs of adoption.

There are also classes you are going to need to take. These too can cost money, or they can be a part of the agency price already. Make sure that you talk to your agency about the different programs they offer.

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Age of the Child

The age of the child is also going to play a factor in how you handle adoption. Sadly, not every child is going to have a good past. Infants are more likely to need less medical coverage, but that isn’t always the case.

If you choose to adopt an older child, understand that they may have trauma. As much as everyone wishes that the foster care system was perfect, it sadly isn’t. So what do you do if you know your child has a traumatic past before they reach you?

A child who has trauma may react in three different ways: physically, mentally, or emotionally (or all three). Children may not understand or know how to express themselves, making it harder to help.

If your child has trauma, know that you may have to spend more time with doctors than you originally planned. Learn about how to handle anxiety, depression, PTSD, and more, just in case your child comes to you with any of these challenges. As always, it helps to take classes and talk with professionals to understand how to deal with different kinds of trauma.

If you feel you can handle it, then you are one step closer to adoption. There may be medical needs or emotional needs, and they are going to be your child, so you’d do anything for your child to be the best they can be.

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Finding Support

Now, adoption is a long road and having a support crew is vital. This could be your family, friends, or even a support group of people who have gone through adoption. What matters is that you find people you can connect with and share your struggles and successes.

There are no two adoption stories that are the same, but you can find support with people who have gone down the road before. This can be through Facebook or other social media, as well as local communities or religious groups. The options are pretty endless.

If you can’t find a community, make your own. People are searching all the time for others who understand them. If nothing is local and you want it to be, this is the perfect time to make something for yourself and others.

Adoption is a great way to build a family. Once you know the ins and outs, you can be prepared for just about anything. Go into the adoption process with an open heart and understand that there are challenges that come along with it.


Sam Bowman writes about families, wellness, and how the two merge. He enjoys getting to utilize the internet for the community without actually having to leave his house. In his spare time, he likes running, reading, and combining the two in a run to his local bookstore.

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