This Is How to Stop A Toddler from Hitting

angry toddler
Photo by MIA Studio/shutterstock

A Mommybites reader asked:

My toddler gets mad and hits me. I know she is frustrated and doesn’t mean it, but it does hurt sometimes and I have had enough of it. What can I do?

You are right. Toddlers can get very frustrated because they do not have enough language to express how they feel, and they end up being aggressive. See if you can look for signs before the volcano erupts. Does your child clench fists or speak very quickly? Jump in and ask her to take a breath. See if you can get her calm, and love the problem along with loving her.

If you are holding her – or are near her – when she hits you, put her down or move away. You can say, “I would like to be close to you, but not if you hit me. No hitting.” Do not move back until she is calm. You can also use a strong voice here. While we do want to cut mindless and consistent yelling out of our homes, there is a place for a serious tone. Low and slow say, “No. No hitting.

Discipline is an option as well. If you are watching a movie and she gets mad and hits you, turn off the movie. Explain that you did want to watch the movie with her, but you do not want to watch it with someone who is hitting you. That goes for a game or activity that you are playing. It is important to say that you want to be with her, but you need a break because she is not being safe.

Many people are turning to a natural path to find solutions to these episodes. One essential oil blend that has been shown to promote calm is Balance and Lavender, 2 drops each with 1 tsp of Fractionated Coconut Oil. There are more calming blends that can be found here. Diffuse to promote a sense of calm in your home, for everyone.

Calm words, clear reactions to actions, and – if you choose – some natural remedies can help your child learn how to handle strong emotions in safer, calmer ways.


Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.

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