Valentine’s Day seems to be a more difficult day for some – and a day that some try to avoid – as it reminds us of the “noise” of where we presently are in our lives. This age of technology can easily rip away the mystery of discovering love, meeting people, and interacting authentically with people without the distraction of an iPhone, iPad or computer. It’s time to reclaim the mystery of love and kill the noise!
My dear friend at work came in visibly shaken in a panic muttering, “Oh my gosh, my life is over!” My co-worker and I looked at one another with a hint of amusement, assured that her life was intact and guessed that this must be a “man” problem.
How would I know? Woman’s Intuition.
And I assure you that, at the ripe age of you-don’t-ask-and-I-won’t-tell, I am nearly a witch in this department, which scares the heck out of my husband. (Let’s save that story for another day…)
“Love noise”, I’ve learned, is the sound of our unconscious egos that we allow to control our thoughts, actions, speech and lives within our intimate relationships. It’s the personal saboteur ready to destroy what is pure, powerful, sexy and authentic – simply because of fear. Fear of intimacy, fear of revealing the soul, fear of feeling love.
Throw in a dose of the age of technology that we now live in, and with one tap of a key or a push to send a text, sure enough, what was a relationship “issue” that could’ve been an opportunity for a revealing, heartfelt, open discussion of the heart between lovers, becomes a toxic mindfield of “he said/ she said,” “but I thought…,” “And why would you…,” “I don’t like that you did…,” “Who the heck is Susan and why is she texting you ‘XO’?!!!”… and “Why would you betray me?..”
It’s worse than the raid on Normandy.
When my co-worker explained her “noise” to our patient ears, which went on for most of the day and escalated into a flurry of texts between her and her man, I reflected on where my own noise was in my life. It turns out that I do create my own drama when I am dishonest with my feelings and allow fear to rule my ego.
My intention for this new year is to allow my goddess within to thrive authentically by being mindful of the power I have to affect the world around me everyday. Crush fear, and be honest about the woman I am, WAS and want to be. If I don’t approve of something, I need to voice it. If I am unhappy with a matter, I need to work through it. If I am offended by a person, I need to reflect about where I might have been an offender, own it and rectify the situation. “Walking on glass” to please others only cuts your feet and bleeds you dry. No one else but you rules YOU.
As I am raising my little boy, I am raising my inner girl and she is with me for this ride, “ride or die,” with all her fears, fearlessness, beauty, rage, love, jealousy, selfish princess-ness to queen. My job is to quiet the noise within me and integrate my little girl. To allow the music that is mine to flow and be my guide to how I travel through life and in my interactions with relationships.
With this power, I can create love everywhere in everything I do, feel and say; with this power I can crush the noise of fear with my personal army of authenticity and be the Queen I truly am.
Lisa St. Hill is an accomplished artist and instructor in fashion, dance and yoga with training from the Fashion Institute of Technology of NYC. A proud mother of two sons, one 22 and one 2 years old, she created the fashionable postpartum corset called My Goddess Wrap, which is featured in Connecticut’s largest lifestyle magazine, Serendipity.
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