{"id":15505,"date":"2012-10-29T09:32:15","date_gmt":"2012-10-29T14:32:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommybites.com\/newyork\/?p=15505"},"modified":"2012-11-01T15:29:02","modified_gmt":"2012-11-01T20:29:02","slug":"explaining-natural-disasters-to-your-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommybites.com\/newyork\/explaining-natural-disasters-to-your-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Explaining Natural Disasters to Your Children"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/em>In light of Hurricane Sandy, we thought we would share this article<\/a> from NY Family Magazine<\/em> with you that we wrote a few months ago that provides ways to talk with your children about severe weather conditions.<\/p>\n

With ever-increasing incidents of severe weather occurrences come questions – questions that are, for many parents, not so easy to answer. To get some guidance, I spoke with social work professional, Marsha Greenberg<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Do you have a general phrase that you find useful when talking to children about natural disasters and significant weather occurrences?<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the expressions that I think is very helpful is: \u201cLet\u2019s talk about how the earth rocks and rolls.\u201d<\/p>\n

Due to the media age we live in, many children in NYC often hear about natural disasters happening in other parts of the country or around the world. Do kids often ask, \u201cAre we safe?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Younger kids don\u2019t always ask this question because they may be too anxious about the answer. They may act out instead\u2014tantrums, potty accidents, relationships with friends. Your child may hear something about a natural disaster but he may not say anything directly because he doesn\u2019t always know how to ask. Older children may ask, \u201cCan that happen here?\u201d If it is something that most likely will not ever happen in your area, you can say, \u201cNo, a tsunami (or whatever is being asked about) cannot happen here.\u201d<\/p>\n

What should we say to children if the natural disasters they are asking about could happen where they live?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Parents could start by gathering information on what their kid already knows. You can say to your child, \u201cTell me everything you know about earthquakes.\u201d When you get a sense of what she already knows, you get a sense of what she is really asking. A child may respond by saying something like, \u201cIt\u2019s when the ground opens up and everything falls in.\u201d A response to this could be, \u201cThat\u2019s possible, but not very probable.\u201d This idea of possible versus probable can be very useful when talking about disasters. I frame it in terms of candy. \u201cDo you think it\u2019s possible your mom would let you eat all the candy in the world, or probable?\u201d Most kids will say it\u2019s possible, not probable.<\/p>\n

What type of conversation should we have with our kids if they ask what would happen if a natural disaster happened in their own city or community?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Parents can start by saying, \u201cThat\u2019s a really good question. Let\u2019s think about what we would do together. Do you remember the last time our lights went out? What did we do? That\u2019s right, we used flashlights.\u201d What you\u2019re doing with kids is helping them problem solve.<\/p>\n

What if my child seems really scared? Isn\u2019t it better not to over-communicate?<\/strong><\/p>\n

As parents, we can affirm their feelings by saying, \u201cYes, you may feel very scared and you may have lots of feelings. Let\u2019s think of other times you were scared. What did we do then? We\u2019ll go slow and help you with your feelings.\u201d Let the kids direct the conversation. You don\u2019t know how much information they really want.<\/p>\n

How much should we read into our children\u2019s questions?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Although we need to be mindful, we don\u2019t need to read into everything our child does or says. For example, there\u2019s this great episode in the old Diahann Carroll show where her kindergarten son is painting in all black. The teachers have a meeting with her expressing their concerns. They have her talk to experts about possible depression and anger that her son is feeling. When she finally asks her son about his paintings, he says, \u201cIt\u2019s the only color paint I can reach on the shelf.\u201d Sometimes, it is what it is.<\/p>\n

What should parents say if their children ask, \u201cDid people die?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

If they ask directly, you can say, \u201cYes, I heard that some did.\u201d The next question children often ask is, \u201cAre you going to die?\u201d Again, ask the child, what they think. Most kids will say yes. You can then say, \u201cWell you\u2019re right, that does happen but mommies and daddies usually do not die until they are much older. It\u2019s not going to happen now.\u201d Parents can make their answer relatable by also saying, \u201cI asked my mommy that very same question when I was your age, because I had those worries too, and I liked knowing she was not going to die for a very long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

What if a child continues to seem anxious about death and dying?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I like to say to kids, \u201cI could worry about dying a long, long time from now, but I need to decide if I\u2019m going to worry a lot or a little.\u201d So this is letting them know that worrying is a bit of a choice. There\u2019s a little bit of hard wiring in children, but for many, worrying is a choice.<\/p>\n

Does talking about natural disasters at school make children\u2019s anxiety better or worse?<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s sometimes tricky when schools set up fundraisers to help with natural disasters. While I think it\u2019s great to do these things, some schools don\u2019t know how vulnerable kids are. Parents can say to their children, \u201cI know you\u2019ve been talking about the tsunami at school. I was thinking about that and wondering what it would be like to have gone through that. What do you think?\u201d Again, you need to know your child and make sure to go slow.<\/p>\n

And what if your community does experience a natural disaster?<\/strong><\/p>\n

In this case, you have to treat it as a trauma, and there are people and organizations to help children with that. It\u2019s scary for kids when all the adults around them who usually take care of them seem upset and vulnerable. You can acknowledge this by saying, \u201cThis may be upsetting because when we used to see Mack at the grocery store, he used to always joke around, and now Mack looks very sad.\u201d You begin to lay it out in a way that can be helpful to children: Those bad things can happen but with time it gets better.<\/p>\n

Heather Ouida is the co-founder of Mommybites<\/a> (formerly known as babybites). Mommybites is a relationship network that connects moms to moms, moms to experts, moms to education, and moms to the best parenting resources available to make moms\u2019 lives happier and easier.<\/em><\/p>\n

Marsha Greenberg is a parenting expert and author of Knack Raising Your Toddler (Knack, 2010). For more information, visit marshagreenberg.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In light of Hurricane Sandy, we thought we would share this article from NY Family Magazine with you that we wrote a few months ago that provides ways to talk with your children about severe weather conditions. With ever-increasing incidents of severe weather occurrences come questions – questions that are, for many parents, not so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":15506,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"schneps_byline":"","schneps_post_style":"","schneps_post_source":"","schneps_syndicated_read_more":"","schneps_post_source_sitename":"","schneps_post_source_shortname":"","schneps_post_source_url":"","schneps_post_source_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,51,60,45,42],"tags":[49,44,74,76],"class_list":["post-15505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-big-kid","category-dads","category-grandparents","category-moms","category-preschool","tag-development","tag-education","tag-safety","tag-support"],"acf":[],"parsely":{"version":"1.1.0","canonical_url":"https:\/\/mommybites.com\/newyork\/explaining-natural-disasters-to-your-children\/","smart_links":{"inbound":0,"outbound":0},"traffic_boost_suggestions_count":0,"meta":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"Explaining Natural Disasters to Your Children","url":"http:\/\/mommybites.com\/newyork\/explaining-natural-disasters-to-your-children\/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/mommybites.com\/newyork\/explaining-natural-disasters-to-your-children\/"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/mommybites.com\/newyork\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2012\/10\/iStock_stormovernyc.jpg?w=150&h=150&crop=1","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\/\/mommybites.com\/newyork\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2012\/10\/iStock_stormovernyc.jpg"},"articleSection":"Big Kid","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Heather Ouida"}],"creator":["Heather Ouida"],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Mommybites New York","logo":""},"keywords":["development","education","safety","support"],"dateCreated":"2012-10-29T14:32:15Z","datePublished":"2012-10-29T14:32:15Z","dateModified":"2012-11-01T20:29:02Z"},"rendered":"