How Do I Change a Squirmy Toddler?

You asked and you shall now receive. It’s only fair for us to share all of this stored up knowledge about a toddlers and what happens when they start toddling (and talking)! We now will answer, in a very public forum, all of those burning questions about children in their second year. Each Wednesday, we will tackle a commonly-asked-question from the point of view of a parent with a toddler. Chiming in to give her feedback will be three women who have been there and done that: an expert (you know someone who does this for a living), a mom from our community (for the “best” friend advice you need) and a babybites’ team member (someone who will promise to give you the REAL deal and no fluff). Earmark, share and add your own input to today’s question; it’s good karma.

My toddler will not let me change his/her diaper any more! Any suggestions to help keep them still while changing?

Expert: Marsha Greenberg

When toddlers start resisting diaper changing they are letting you know that your toddler is now aware of what is going on in his/her diaper. This does not mean they are ready to toilet train but they are letting you know that they are wanting to control their bodies an this process including a new diaper. Make sure your toddler knows the diaper change is coming up. Ask him or her if they want to do a stand up change or a laying down change. Also let them know they can take something with them to get this change done and that once the change is done the two of you can get out the trains or something of interest. This allows the two of you to begin a conversation on the way to the diaper “I wonder what Thomas is going to do when he has to get his oil changed? Should we bring him to the tracks?” This helps the toddler begin to focus on what is coming up, not just on what is happening. Sometimes having special things at the changing are can be useful. Some toddlers like to brush their teeth, maybe a fancier toothbrush or some real keys on a ring that is just for them.
This phase of resistance is tough: try to keep your cool and be consistent; try not to back down; if you say in one minute stick to it. The more consistent you are the more your toddler will begin to accept the predictability.

Mom: Katie Gilbert

We have ALWAYS struggled in this department! I finally found with my second daughter that it has helped to keep our changing location consistent, always changing her diaper up in her room when we are home. As much as we can involve her in the process, the smoother the change seems to go! So we let her get her own diaper out of the basket, then during the change, she helps to pull out her own wipes and hands them to us. We are usually singing the whole time too. I asked a friend one time how her 22 month old knew the whole alphabet and she said, “Well, I sing it to her EVERY time I change her diaper!”

Mommybites’ team: Laura Deutsch

I found that with both my son and my daughter, giving them a coveted item that they were not usually allowed to play with worked like a charm: my phone, my watch, my keys – you get the idea! It needed to be something special, not the same old toys they always played with. The other thing that worked like a charm was the good old tag team. My husband helped entertain the kids while I changed, or vice versa. This clearly wasn’t always an option but I definitely took advantage of it when I could!

About our team:

Marsha Greenberg M.S., M.S. W

Marsha is a therapist in New York City. She is the author of the newly released book, Raising Your Toddler, by Globe Pequot Press. She has masters degrees in Child and Family Development and Social Work from the University of Michigan. As the Director of the Health Systems Child Care Program for over 14 years, she was responsible for over 250 children between the ages of 6 weeks and 6 years of age. Marsha teaches in the Early Childhood Special Education department at NYU and has a private psychotherapy practice in NYC. Marsha is the mother of three grown sons and has three grandsons (aged 4 and 18 months and 4 months) with a new grandchild on the way.

Katie Gilbert

Katie is a stay-at-home mom of two girls, 3 years old and 16 month old, and she is due in June with a little boy! She has found herself to be more organized and more efficient with two at home, than when she just had one child. Hopefully this will hold true with 3!

Laura Deutsch

Laura Deutsch is the original founder and creator of Mommybites. Since first starting Mommybites (formerly known as babybites) in 2006 by handing out post cards to fellow moms on the streets of Manhattan, Laura has continued to use her business savvy, dedication and creativity to cultivate and grow Mommybites in its flagship city of Manhattan. Prior to founding Mommybites, Laura worked as a middle school math teacher at The Dwight School in Manhattan. Laura holds her BA from Binghamton University and her MA in Early Childhood Education from Hunter College. She currently resides in Summit, NJ, with her husband, Brian, daughter, Ava, and son, Jacob.