Winter break may represent the first official “school vacation” of your toddler or preschooler’s young life. Long gone are those first few weeks when you had to peel your nervous child off your leg as you left them at school. They have adjusted! You have adjusted! Life is good.
After three months of daily school routine, it might feel great to have a week or two to be slightly off schedule, maybe cuddle a bit in the mornings, or spend a day or two in pajamas without the morning rush to get to school.
Alas, all good things come to an end, and many parents of first-time preschoolers are surprised when the restart of school in January resembles those first weeks in September. Once again, children get clingy, and may even be more upset than in the beginning of their school year. You may encounter resistance in your morning routine, shoes may get thrown, tempers may flare, and refusal to get dressed or to eat may slow you down.
Why, after doing so well for so long, does this happen? And what can you do to prepare your child so the transition back to school is a happy one?
First, try to take this as a sign of a great vacation and not of some underlying issue at school. Children like being at home and they enjoy the slower pace of vacation, so returning to school can seem like a shock. They also really like spending time at home with you (and their own toys) and are often not ready to give that up so quickly. If they were happy before the break, their upset is not likely to be a school issue, just a transition issue.
Second, while a week or two does not seem like a long time to us, it can be an eternity to a young child. Their familiar classroom, teachers and classmates seem strange again – so once again, they cling to you in order to feel comfortable.
Helping them re-familiarize themselves with their school can be comforting. Consider showing them pictures of their teachers, friends, and school a day or so before returning. Packing their bags and lunch box in the same way you did each day before break also helps. Talking about who will be at school, what their daily routine will look like, and who will pick them up at the end of the day can be useful.
For the first week, make sure to give yourself and your child extra time in the morning. That might mean getting yourself up and ready a half hour earlier for a few days so you can stay calm and in charge if your child resists getting ready. It also will give you a few minutes of the special time you both enjoyed while on vacation. Time to eat together, or a few minutes of focused play or a story and a cuddle, can help your child feel connected to you as you begin to separate again. If you are rushed, your child will sense your stress and theirs will be amplified.
On arrival to school, a quick kiss and a happy, reassuring smile before departing is all that is necessary. Trust that your teachers can handle the big emotions if they arise.
Normally, the restart blues last only a few days. So hang in there and this too shall pass!
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Sara Connolly, MD, FAAP, is a Board Certified Pediatrician who practices in Palm Beach County, Florida. Sara completed her residency at Jackson Memorial Hospital at the University of Miami, where she served as Chief Resident. She divides her time between private practice and working with incarcerated girls. At Bundoo, Sara is a Bundoo Pediatrician; she edits, writes, answers questions and participates in group and forum discussions. Previously, Sara took care of hospitalized children and newborns at a children’s hospital in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She has a passion for child advocacy and has worked on the local, state, and national level to increase access to care for children. Her interests include nutrition, breastfeeding and parenting skills.
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