Hi Everyone!
I had the ultimate privilege this weekend of having an impromptu morning coffee at NY Family’s Parenting Expo with Dr. Harvey Karp. I know many of you are already familiar with his now famous 5 S’s (and if not, check out his website ). What you may not know is he also offers amazing advice on toddlers. Here’s just a snippit from his website:
Question: When dealing with Toddler Tantrums: Should We Rush to “Make It All Better”?
“When our toddlers get upset, we often interrupt their complaints with comments to try to make them less upset – to see the “bright side” – like “It’s not so bad” or “You’re okay.” It’s natural to want to comfort your upset toddler, to want to make things better. But when your little one is upset or having a tantrum, immediately saying “It’s okay!” can actually make things worse. That’s saying “It’s okay” (and especially saying it over and over) accidentally give your child the message that you want her to act happy, even if she isn’t. And that means she has to stuff her feelings deep down inside and that is absolutely not okay.
Now don’t get me wrong, as parents we often have to reassure our children and help them through their frustrations and disappointments, BUT save your reassurance for after you respectfully reflect your toddler’s feelings (try the “Fast Food Technique,” described on The Happiest Toddler DVD and book – link). Once your toddler starts calming down, and actually starts to feel okay, that’s when she will really appreciate you saying, “It’s okay.”
Make sure to check out this great resource and let us know what you think!
Cheers,
Heather
heather@kiddybites.com