I’m sure you’ve heard the African proverb, “It takes a whole village to raise a child.” Now, the actual village is up for grabs for me, but I wholeheartedly agree that all parents need support. What that support looks for you… well, that is what you will have to decide. The role of grandparents, friends, teachers, aunts, uncles are all important in the lives of our children. The days of doing it all, all by ourselves, are long gone. I don’t know one June Cleaver. So why do we, as working mothers, have such a hard time asking for help?
When you become a mother there are tears, joy and suddenly lots more to do. Some may say that we lack the support that we need, but I tend to think that we lack the ability to “ask” for the support that we need. We’ve been trained to do everything and with a smile. We perceive this as the expectation. Yes, society, and in the beginning, our mothers, grandmothers, mothers-in-laws may make us feel the pressure to do it their way or the way they did it, but it’s also our need to control and be in control.
Most importantly, what we are trying to control is their perception of us. We don’t want to feel guilty, ashamed, weak, lazy, incompetent, or God forbid a “bad” mother. Just imagine how easier and less stressful our lives would be without these judgments. We are our own worst enemy.
Early on as a first time-mother, I couldn’t count the number of times that my husband suggested my mother-in-law come over and watch our daughter so that I would be able to get things done. That idea seemed asinine to me. Did I need her help? Sure. Did I ask? No. Our beliefs trigger our thoughts, those thoughts trigger feelings, and finally, those feelings end in action or inaction in this case – hence, all the reasons we don’t ask for the support that we need. It’s time to challenge those beliefs.
Support doesn’t always come in the form of someone doing something for you. Sometimes it’s just about having someone to share your struggles. What could be better support and encouragement than feeling like you are not alone on an island? Find a friend or confidant whom you can relate to and trust. Simply reaching out along the way can bring you incredible inspiration, strength, love, and blessings!
When asking for support, clarity is very important. You want to be really clear about what you are asking for. The clearer you are about what you want, the more likely you are to get it. If you are not comfortable reaching out or sharing with others, you may want to start small. This offers you the experience and practice in stepping out of your comfort zone. Baby steps are just as empowering.
Don’t become one of the walking dead. You don’t want to be the woman who is so lost, overwhelmed, frustrated and burned out that she is no longer in touch with her own needs and expectations. Make the time to nurture the whole of you, and when you do, I promise you will come back refueled, recharged, and better than ever. Today, make up your MIND that it’s time to stop doing it all and start asking for help. There is no shame. It takes a village, so having the support of family and friends is essential. So who will you LET support you?
Like what you read? Sign up for our free newsletter so you can be informed of the latest FREE webinars & teleclasses, parenting articles, & weekly raffles.
* Healthy Living is section of our website co-hosted by Mott’s. Mott’s has compensated Mommybites to be a partner in this awesome Healthy Living section on our website. This partnership does not influence the content, topics or posts made on this blog. We always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on all topics, products, and services.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.