Welcome to our new Meet the Experts weekly blog! We have found that we have been lucky enough to really get to know all the wonderful and talented speakers, writers and experts that are part of Mommybites. In addition to speaking and writing about their areas of expertise, they also have incredible journeys, life advice, and stories to share. We hope you will enjoy getting to know them as much as we have!
This week’s Expert: Debbie Pincus
Q: Tell us a little about you (your background, your job, what makes you tick or anything else you think our Mommybites moms will find interesting).
A: I am a psychotherapist, have been practicing for over 25 years, and work with individuals, couples and families. My career as a psychotherapist started when I became the Director of Counseling at a college in New York, where I loved working with students, faculty and parents. From there I started my own private practice, and now have offices in Manhattan, Larchmont,NY and Greenwich, CT. I am the founder and Executive Director of The Relationship Center, and lead parent groups through both the Center and Greenwich Hospital. My community service includes serving on the Larchmont/Mamaroneck Counseling Center Board and The Total Transformation Advisory Board. Each month I write on-line parenting articles for Empowering Parents. Recently I also wrote a CD series and book entitled CALM PARENT AM & PM, published by Legacy Publishing Company. In addition, I have written seven books on interpersonal relations for young people. My training was at the Gestalt Institute of NY and the Bowen Family Institute of Georgetown. I am a licensed psychotherapist and a certified Screamfree Parenting and Marriage coach. I am married, live in Westchester and have three grown children, a cat and a dog.
The Relationship Center, which I founded in 1991, offers a a solution-based approach to relationship difficulties. The Center’s unique and highly effective approach, based on family systems theory, offers practical advice that has helped many people turn around their relationships.
What makes me tick is working hard, continually learning, reading everything that I can get my hands on from parenting to politics, setting personal goals and reaching them. In my free time I love to dance – everything from ballet to jazz to hip hop to salsa.
Q: What or who inspires you?
A: I am inspired by so many of my clients. I appreciate their willingness to look deep inside themselves and take responsibility for what they observe. It is impressive to see them honestly look at their own patterns, take risks and change by taking new actions. It is inspirational to see them stretch and grow.
Q: What is your best piece of parenting advice?
A: The best piece of parenting advice that I ever heard was to focus on yourself and your adult relationships rather than over-focus on your children.
Q: What’s the worst piece of parenting advice you have heard?
A: The worst parenting advice I have ever heard is “Hit your kid with a wooden spoon if they do something you do not like.”
Q: What’s the most common question you are asked by parents?
A: The most common parenting question that I am asked is “How do I get my kids to listen and behave?”
Q: What are some of your favorite T.V. shows? Books? Foods?
A: My favorite TV shows include Parenthood, The Good Wife and Enlightened. My favorite foods include (unfortunately) chocolate cake, chocolate brownies and chocolate bars. My favorite books include: Eat, Pray, Love; Grow Up; Freedom; West with the Night; Wild Swans; and A Walk in the Woods.
Q: What parenting books to you most recommend to parents?
A: The parenting books that I recommend to parents are Screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel and Boundaries for Kids by Cloud and Townsend.
Q: What are some of your favorite parenting products?
A: Some of my favorite parenting products include The Calm Parent AM & PM as well as The Total Transformation Program. Both products are published through Legacy Publishing Company. I think these programs are extremely valuable for all parents to listen to. The website empoweringparents.com has weekly, free, on-line parenting articles that are excellent.
Q: If you could be someone else for a day who would it be and why?
A: If I could be someone else for a day it would probably be Freud or Jung, or both. I’d love to be part of the intellectual community of their time and take part in conversations about psychoanalysis and “talking therapy” that was then being debated and discussed.
Q: What’s up next for your professionally?
A: Professionally, I am expanding my groups and developing new and interesting seminars on parenting and marriage. I am also working on a possible new project with Legacy Publishing Company. In addition, I am excited to have been asked to be a facilitator for the Mommybites’ new on-line seminars that will begin in May. They should be very interesting!
Q: Are there any other questions you wish we asked? If so, what and how would you answer?
A: My CALM PARENT AM & PM program can help parents in a few important ways. By listening to my program and using the guide book, parents will understand some important concepts of family systems theory and will understand how anxiety operates in families. By learning to see the family as the emotional unit, parents will have new lenses through which to view themselves and their children. It will be eye- opening. These tools will be invaluable in helping parents raise responsible, self-reliant children, and to be able to maintain strong connections with them.
Here are some of the reviews of the program:
LOVELY ADVICE – “After struggling with my child and his anger issues and quick temper I have seen the light which this wonderful program offers. I can’t recommend it enough for anyone who has anyone with difficult issues. Staying separate from others and focusing on one’s self is the key to solving any problem anywhere. We can only change ourselves and THAT is so very hard in itself, but with it comes true and lasting peace.”
VERY HELPFUL –“This program has a ton of great information that really helps parents understand our role in continuing the dance of arguments we are constantly engaging with our kiddos. Awareness is a huge step!”
CALMER IN OUR HOUSE- “The CALM PARENT AM& PM is very calming to listen to for starters. Debbie Pincus has just the right voice and tone for easy listening. She just knows her stuff and is able to give so many examples of real life situations. I felt so often that she actually knew my 16 year old. All the tapes are helpful. Since I commute to work I keep all the tapes in my car and listen to them often. On my way home from work I listen to the PM tape and feel, now I can handle any situation that arises. I can stay calm. Calm is contagious and I am actually finding my daughter is raising her voice less. The advice is extremely valuable.”
AHHHH- “This is a great program and eye opening, Easy to follow. I have listened to it many times and learn something new each time. Excellent source for any parent who is looking for a calm approach to parenting.”
Debbie may be reached via:
Email: [email protected]
Phone: (914) 834-4965