In the baby sleep world, the word “regression” gets thrown around quite a bit. I’m generally not a fan of it. I think it’s easy to chalk behavior up to a regression when, in fact, there are often certain things that can be done to help adjust wonky sleep behavior.
But two-year-olds? They are no joke. Forget regression. How about AGGression?
In all seriousness, I often do find that sleep behavior is affected around this time. When you really think about it, it’s easy to see why. At two years old, most children are going through enormous developmental changes between increased language acquisition, greater motor agility, and a peak in their curiosity and awareness of the world around them.
They are also becoming more adept at understanding the complexities of human relationships. They become more cognizant of parental separation and also gain a deeper understanding of how what they do affects what others do. As such, they begin to try their hand at pushing boundaries and pushing limits. Sound familiar?
Their sleep isn’t immune to this testing. In fact, it tends to be one of their favorite spots to exercise their new-found skills. You might find that your toddler is routinely skipping naps or giving more of a fight at bedtime. Maybe there are even some middle-of-the-night antics when previously there had been none.
Though it’s tempting – because, let’s face it, a toddler’s stamina is unmatched – now is not the time to give in and let them your child run the show. Rather, this is a chance to remember the importance of being consistent with your little one and maintaining control.
So how best to navigate this tricky time?
Maintain your schedule. Even when you’re going on day 5 (or week 2) of no nap, keep right on offering it! Most children do not actually drop their naps until close to the age of 4, so the nap strike around 2 is way too early to even think about giving it up permanently. Keep the crib safe and distraction-free, as usual, and leave your child for a solid amount of time each day so that, at the very least, he is getting a little downtime mid-day. And so are you.
Manage changes. Another reason that this time can be a bit tumultuous is that toddlers are often going through other changes concurrently. Maybe they are expecting a new sibling or parents have decided it’s time to transition to a bed (more on that here). Or maybe you have decided that now would be a good time to have a go at potty training.
All of those things are great, but take care not to pile too much on at once. Remember that your two-year-old, though she may be talking a good talk, is still very much a wee one. Minimize too many major changes as she goes through this developmental time and you will save yourselves a lot of trouble and resistance.
Involve your toddler. One of the most difficult, but also the greatest, parts of toddlerhood is their ability to understand so much more and also to exercise their opinions. If you are finding that bedtime is your biggest struggle, be consistent with your bedtime routine as usual, but try to give your toddler some autonomy during it. Let your child choose pajamas or give a choice of bedtime stories. Those little decisions empower children without giving them the chance to delay too much.
Above all else, maintain control! Remember that toddlers are actually craving limits -it’s why they test them in the first place. To a toddler, the world is a really cool and interesting place, but it’s also completely overwhelming. Often their extreme behavior is just their way of trying – and maybe failing – to process all that is going on around them. When it gets to be too much, they struggle. And that’s where helping toddlers manage those big feelings by “containing” them a bit can make a big difference.
And remember, this is a phase. It too shall pass. Isn’t that what the grown-ups always say?
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Kristina Amerikaner is the (mostly) rested mom of two and a certified pediatric sleep consultant with Good Night Sleep Site New Jersey. You can also connect with her on Facebook or over on that newfangled contraption known as Twitter. When not thinking about sleep (yours and hers), she loves reading, baking, and tackling The New York Times crossword puzzle. She lives with her family in Northern New Jersey, her native state.
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