You asked and you shall now receive. It’s only fair for us to share all of this stored up knowledge about big kids and their physical, social and emotional development as they grow. We now will answer, in a very public forum, all of those burning questions about big kids – children five and up. Each month, we will tackle a commonly-asked-question from the point of view of a parent with a big kid. Chiming in to give feedback will be an expert (you know, someone who does this for a living). Earmark, share and add your own input to today’s question; it’s good karma.
What should I do if I think my child is being bullied?
Bullying is so painful for both the child and parent and with one-in-seven children involved in bully-victim interactions, it is more common than many people think. Susan Lieberman wrote an extremely useful article for Mommybites on some ways to help your child if he or she is being bullied. Here is an excerpt from her blog that explores what to do if your child is being bullied:
Surprisingly, victims are not always that different from their peers. They do not always wear glasses, they are not always overweight and they do not always entice bullying with annoying behavior. Generally, these children are vulnerable, less confident and have low self-esteems. They also tend to be withdrawn from others and lacking of supportive friends. Due to being bullied, victims often display nervous and anxious behaviors in and out of school. As well, they often experience a drop in grades and reluctance to go to school. Victims do not tend to fight back and can be prone to mood swings and outbursts of anger resulting from suppressed emotions and the inability to express themselves to their attackers.
Parents of victims often feel helpless; they want to protect their child, but cannot. These parents can utilize counseling as an outlet for their own feelings while at the same time learning how to provide comfort and support to their children. Victims can gain a lot of confidence through attending counseling; they can learn how to better respond to a bully and how to stand up for themselves without having to fight. Other tips for parents whose child is a victim include:
- If the bullying continues, go to the school superintendent or to the school board and trustee
- Insist that the parents of the other child or children involved in the bullying interaction are told about all incidents
- Show support by believing victims and by reassuring them that they are not at fault
Bullying has become a serious epidemic in our schools and in our communities. However, as people begin to pull together to deal with the situation, bullies and victims will be taught the skills needed to develop into confident, well-adjusted adults.
Check out this entire blog on bullying here.
Check out our radio show we did on bullying here.
Susan Lieberman is in private practice in Toronto as a family therapist and public speaker. For more information, helpful tips and printable downloads, go online at www.familysupport.net or call at 416-512-6356.