By Tammy Gold, Gold Parent Coaching
Being a mother is one of the most rewarding, yet difficult jobs on the planet. A lot of moms however, do not recognize this important role as a full time job and like any other professional you deserve training, breaks and a lot of support. Below are some helpful tips to remind moms to give as much to themselves as they do to everyone else.
Fill Yourself Up. No mother can give 100 percent of herself 100 percent of the time to her children or her partner. Moms need to remember what makes them who they are and what they need emotionally and physically to live a complete life. Filling yourself up can come from work, volunteering, taking classes, joining online groups, being in a book club, reading, hiking, walking, working out. Whatever it takes to “fill you up” emotionally, mentally and physically apart from your children and family.
Find Support. Find support from family, friends or professionals. Mothering can sometimes be an isolating experience so you need to find a way to connect to others in good times and in bad. Find people with whom you can be honest and with whom you can share your feelings. Join mothers groups locally or even log on anonymously online, find a way to let your feelings out and connect to other moms. These connections will help you get through tough times and remind that others share what you are feeling.
Take alone time. Find a babysitter, hire a nanny, barter babysitting hours with friends, take an hour from your family members or your partner, or spend quiet alone time when your children nap. Take consistent time away from the children (even for just a few minutes) to relax and re charge yourself. During that alone time do now worry about what you have “to do,” but rather to focus on “what you have done.” Use this alone time to be good to yourself and give yourself a break from what you “need to do.” Mothering is a full time job and like all jobs you need regular “breaks” in any way you can get them.
Never compare yourself to other moms. You are the BEST mother to your children. It does not matter which moms can work full time or stay at home and run a “perfect” home. Your children do not care what “other moms” can manage or complete they only care about you. Put blinders on to other moms so you cannot compare yourself to what others do or do not do. Believe in yourself and know that you are the best mother to your children. Listen to others, but always trust your “gut” as you always know what is best for your children.
Take one day at a time. What may be terrible today could be gone tomorrow. Save your energy for what matters. Pick your battles wisely and save your energy for important issues. Sometimes mother can be burdened with rules and schedules and structure. Just aim to do the best you can one day at a time. Listen to some advice, but do not let it become a burden to get ride of the bottle at a certain time, or battle toilette training – your children will reach these stages eventually. Ease the pressure on yourself and focus on the positives of the day.