I know people who spank, but there are so many studies that say no way, and it has really been in the news lately. I want to try other options but what? Time Out just isn’t working for us.
I hear you. First let’s change the way we see discipline. Discipline is not about making a child feel horrible about a choice they have made. We ALL make poor choices from time to time. It is about teaching life lessons and keeping them and others safe (think hitting, biting, pushing…). The reactions for actions need to be connected to the offense for them to work well and consistently.
For example, if a child writes on the wall they need to clean it – as well as they can, of course – and then the crayons go away for the day. If a child is hitting on the playground, explain that if they continue to be unsafe you will have to leave the playground. The key is to give a heads up about the expected behavior and what will happen if you do not see that behavior – and then to follow through fast.
One then done. If you say that you are leaving the playground, leave. Do not be swayed by adorable eyes batting or promises of never doing it again. Giving a million chances is confusing and sends a message that the behavior isn’t really bothering you, when it really is.
Try this strategy from one of my past blogs on being stuck. The child cannot move on until they have finished the task at hand – the one that they are vehemently refusing to do. Perhaps it is cleaning up, brushing teeth, taking a bath… I could go on forever, right? Stuck feels better for everyone and works wonders. There are so many strategies that work without spanking.
If you are in need of some more, drop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com to take part in the Stop Spanking Special and you will receive 50% off of one month of coaching. Remember, change takes time, and no discipline works the very first time.
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.
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