My Son Wants to Wear a Tutu


My 3 year old son wants to wear a tutu to school. He sees his sister wearing one and wants to as well. I don’t know what to do. Yes or no? 

First ask yourself what about this bothers you. Are you worried that his peers or teachers will disapprove or make fun of him? The other parents? Are you worried that the sister may be mad that he borrowed her stuff? What about a tutu is too much? What exactly is holding you back?

Society puts a lot of emphasis on segregating girl and boy things, and though things are thankfully changing, they are not changing fast enough. We still are very stuck when it comes to what each gender should wear. 

Now, no one thinks much of it when a little girl wears sweatpants and a baseball tee. No one minds when she wants to play football or go fishing or get dirty from digging in the mud with her digger. It’s really the boys who get short-changed here. They are still told to let the girls play with dolls or to dress up like a policeman – though that sparkly princess dress is hard to ignore. I mean really, girls clothes ARE kinda amazing. They are shiny, full of sparkle and bright colors. Who wouldn’t want that? 

I have known some little fellas to wear a tutu and barrettes one day, and a dino t-shirt and jeans with muddy sneakers the next. I have had wonderful, small women who wear jeans and a jersey one day, and shine like the sun in their dynamic dress the next. 

We want kids to be themselves, but shy away when “themselves” does not fit our mold. Go for it. Let him rock what he wants, and show him that he has ownership over his body and path. Show him that he can be who he wants to be. We all like a little sparkle and pizzazz in our lives, let’s let our boys have that as well.

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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by

The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.

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2 thoughts on “My Son Wants to Wear a Tutu

  1. My 5-year-old son asked to wear a dress to Kindergarten last month because he wanted to “feel pretty”. We did warn him that the other kids probably weren’t as cool as he was and might laugh at him, but we told him that he should rock whatever outfit he wanted (but over jeans and with a backup t-shirt in his bag, just in case). I texted the teacher so she would know in advance, as well as his before-care staff.

    He walked into before-care and the other boys started to laugh at him loudly. I was so happy that IMMEDIATELY the before-care director demanded, “what are you laughing at?” When the boys said “he’s wearing girls’ clothes”, she responded “oh yeah? And what am I wearing? Jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers… Are those boy clothes or girl clothes? What’s the difference?” As soon as she said that, another little boy said “I like wearing dresses too!”.

    My son took off the dress around 3:00 because he said that he was tired of the kids laughing and the dress got in the way of climbing trees (yeah they do!), but I was really proud of him. My daughter wears Minecraft, Star Wars, Lego, and science-themed clothes — why shouldn’t my son get the freedom to wear what makes him happy?

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