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    Categories: Moms

On Mommy Guilt and Childcare

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    By Sarah E. Visbeek, author of In the Trenches of Mommyhood

    After I became a mother for the first time, my career took a backseat, and I was lucky enough to be able to work family-friendly part time hours for the next 6 years, affording me, in my opinion, the best of both worlds. Precious time spent mothering, yet having my foot wedged firmly in the door for my career.

    Soon enough, though, it was time to bite the bullet. Time to head back to work full-time.

    And so I did.

    When my youngest was just 2 years old. And my middle child was just 3. And my oldest was just starting kindergarten.

    It broke my heart.

    We had a wonderful nanny. Someone who had been with our family, on and off, since my oldest was a 4-month old. So that indeed helped, knowing that my children were being loved and cared for, but it certainly didn’t stop the Mommy Guilt.

    The Mommy Guilt was powerful. Overwhelming. Consuming. For someone else was spending more time with my children than I was. Daily.

    In the blink of an eye, those tough years passed. And soon enough, I was the mother of three school-aged children. Still working full-time, yet realizing that even if I were able to be home? My children would be in school anyway.

    And so – the Mommy Guilt has decreased in that respect. But oh, it’s still not gone! You see, the Guilt switches.

    I would love nothing more than to greet my boys as they pile off the bus everyday with hugs and a plate of warm cookies. Yet I cannot. I am at work as the babysitter greets them, offers them a snack, and helps them with homework. Someone else is spending more time with my children doing the important things I wish I could do. Daily.

    I have a sneaking suspicion that this Mommy Guilt? Is here to stay. *sigh*

    What is your childcare situation and how do you feel about it?


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      Elise Jones: Elise Jones was the social media director and blog editor for babybites. She was responsible for engaging and informing moms on a variety of parenting topics found on Mommybites’ parenting videos (webbybites), blog, Facebook, Twitter and BlogTalkRadio show. The Mommybites’ blog is an outlet for moms who are in search of information to support them in their role as a parent. Prior to working with Mommybites, Elise taught students in a variety of grades while working for the New York City Department of Education. Before teaching, Elise worked in public relations positions at Burson-Marsteller and Sarah Hall Productions developing and implementing media relations and corporate reputation programs for clients across many industries. Elise is the mom of two lovely girls and currently resides in New Jersey. She performs in the theater and is an active member of her local public arts council. You can also find Elise blogging at Here in This House.
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