I am really outgoing, but my toddler is so clingy. He ends up engaging and having fun, but it takes a bit. I am worried and do not know that to do. Is this normal?
YES. We have this idea in our minds that kids should be loud and outgoing and playful. The truth is that they are all different – as different as us grown ups are. Many adults are nervous in new, crowded, fast moving situations. Since your child WILL encounter these situations in their lives here are a few tips that can help them out now AND later in life.
Give info… LOTS!
Tell your child where you are going, who will be there, what to expect from the event. What will the food be? Who will they know? When a slow-to-warm child has information, he feels more in control and feel less anxious.
Get there early.
It can be VERY overwhelming for a slow-to-warm child to walk into a room full of people. Especially if those people are excited to see her and come charging at her. You do not have to show up an hour early, but be on time.
Bring a friend.
Everything is easier with a pal, right? See if your child wants to bring a friend to an event or go with a friend to a class party. Having someone by his side can keep nerves at bay.
Practice hello.
Talk to your child about how she will greet people at school or at an event. Will she say, “Hi” or smile, or nod? When she knows that she can respond and interact in ways that she feels comfortable, she will be more apt to go without protest and not cling to your leg.
Ask your child for strategies.
We often forget to go to the source. Ask your child what would make him feel better about going to the class or event. Maybe he wants to bring a comfort item. Maybe he wants to think of things to talk about. Maybe he wants to wear his favorite shoes. You will be surprised with what a kids can come up with. By giving kids a chance to problem solve you are giving them the opportunity to learn how to cope, grow, and move forward with things that might be uncomfortable.
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.