You asked and you shall now receive. It’s only fair for us to share all of this stored up knowledge about having a baby and what is going on with your body during those nine (really ten) months. We now will answer, in a very public forum, all of those burning questions about having a baby. Each Monday, we will tackle a commonly-asked-question from the point of view of an expectant parent. Chiming in to give feedback will be an expert (you know someone who does this for a living). Earmark, share and add your own input to today’s question; it’s good karma.
My in-laws want to select/buy ALL of my baby products. Help!
What a tricky situation! In-laws have often gotten a bad rap, even though there are many great in-law relationships – though in this situation of trying to dominate all gift selections we could call them outlaws!
Expecting a baby is such an exciting and joyous time for not just us, but also our in-laws. They are often “over the moon” as they say with a pending arrival. Sometimes this excitement can get the best of our in-laws – and what they deem as helping, is actually quite stressful for the expecting mom. At a time of heightened emotions – things can often get a bit haywire with everyone wanting to give their opinions, desires, and wants – often unsolicited.
Its important to communicate with your partner to have a common front, of what you both agree is acceptable and unacceptable behavior for your loved ones. Setting gentle boundaries are important so others know what is expected. Much too often we don’t share our frustrations, and then get upset when they “overstep” the boundaries that were never verbalized.
It is helpful to manage the expectations of both sets of future grandparents. Some of these challenges are more about generational differences than in-law issues.
Some helpful tips:
– Ask each set of grandparents to help pick out one item to celebrate the arrival of their grandchild. Each of them is a part of this wonderful time, and no one is steamrolling everything.
– Ask them each what they are looking forward to when their grandchild is born. Its helpful to know what they hold most dear – is it giving the baby a bath, strolling in the park, singing a lullaby to the baby? It’s a wonderful way to be proactive and know how to include them when the baby arrives.
All in all, it’s important to remember in their golden years that a new child signifies so much – hope, joy, rebirth, new beginnings, a place to start over. Let them know you want them to be a part of this joyous time and share in the festivities, as you and your partner begin to make your own choices as new parents.
Expert: Renee Sullivan
Renee Sullivan, parent coach and Founding Director of Mommybites support groups, works with moms each week to create their own personal parenting plan that is right for them, while making sure that each mom gets the support, resources, and community they need for their parenting journey. Drawing from her experience as an birth coach and educator, she guides moms – new, seasoned and expectant through the never – ending array of decisions that come with having a child. Weekly sessions that are “nurturing, informative, and fun” and her “calm-laid back personality” has made her a “dynamic resource” to the parenting community since 2006. Renee’s positive, warm and enthusiastic personality relaxes and guides new and expectant moms to enjoy the journey and her personal attention to detail allows all parents that work with her to quickly get the resources they need to feel at ease to make informed and educated decisions. Before joining Mommybites, she narrowly escaped the trenches of Corporate America where she was a Senior Project Manager for The New York Times, Morgan Stanley and Pfizer. She lives in New York City and is the mom of one happy kindergartener.
