I am saying NO all the time. I never wanted to be THAT parent & now I am. What to do?
Sick of saying NO? Stop. Ok, no, not entirely. You’re not obligated to say yes to 10 puppies, or even 1, or another princess dress (you house 7 already), or 4 more T-Rex dolls – but you do not actually have to say, “No”. You can find the yes somewhere. It may be hidden. Get in there and dig till ya find it:
“We can put that dress on your birthday list and you can get it then.” “We can go to Amy’s house. They have a funny puppy.”
Grown ups are so programmed to say no to kids. Think about how often “no” comes out without even thinking about it. Why? Because we are grown ups and that is what we do. We say no. We don’t wanna do something, so we say “no”, we don’t want a mess so we say “no”. We want to be clear who is in charge so we say “no”. We are like two-year-olds stuck in a pattern of saying no first.
Yes, I said it. Grown ups are like two-year-olds. We so often say NO – Don’t climb on that, No you can’t have a cookie, No you can’t play that now, no, no, no, NO. It becomes automatic. When did we become so UN-FUN?? Oooh, uhh, hmmm, got a little carried away there, but really, we do say “no” a lot.
Don’t get me wrong – I am still the Brandi that you know and love, and I am NOT saying you should give in to every whim of your child. I am saying FIND. THE. YES.
Your child wants to blow bubbles, but it is raining? Blow ’em in the bath or garage. Your child wants to go to the zoo, but you don’t have time? Build one. Your child wants a cookie, but dinner is an hour away? Offer fruit or a slice of cheese.
Your child may not always take the yes, and there may even be a tantrum involved, but the more that you find the yes, the better you and your child will feel. Save the “no” for something really important or dangerous. When it is rare, it is listened to.
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.
