By Elise Jones, blog editor
Soon after my first daughter turned two I brought home my second daughter. To say my first daughter was a bit in awe and more than a bit jealous, is an understatement. Big sis was already peeved I was not able to pick her up all the time and I required A LOT more “breaks” than usual. So the thought of having to share my lap and attention with another person was NOT for her. After a bit of an adjustment and tons of daddy time, big sis got use to “her” baby and now the two are as thick as thieves. They wake up asking for each other as if my husband and I are just the opening act to a rock god.
So how did I maneuver the transition from one to two? Here are some of the tips I’d like to think helped out:
- Big sibling preparation class: My hospital offered a hour-long class for the preparation of the siblings for a new arrival. As a family, we read some books and watched a video about what new babies do (eat, sleep, and cry). My daughter colored a big sister badge, got to practice holding a new (CPR dummy) baby, and the best part was she got to tour the maternity ward where I was going to stay with the new baby. She even got to see the room, sit on my bed and look into the nursery at the other new babies. This was a GREAT experience and one which she still remembers two years later.
- The huge advantages of having a sibling: We knew the second baby was going to be a girl. So we let our oldest daughter know she was going to have a sister and what a very lucky girl she was to have a sister. I told (and still tell) her the best gift I might ever give her is a sister. She gets a built-in playmate/resource/friend/confidant/enemy/bridesmaid/etc for life. It makes her feel like she is the luckiest girl in the world still to this day.
- Play mommy: My oldest daughter inherited my baby doll from when I was a little girl. So in preparation of the new “real” baby, we got her baby doll some of the similar things the “real” baby was going to have. We even took her to go baby shopping and bought all of the things I got for the “real” baby for her baby doll too. So once the new “real” baby sister came along and I fed, bathed, and dressed her, my oldest daughter was right there with me doing the exact same things with her baby doll. She felt so responsible and she learned how to be gentle and soothing. It also kept her busy (a big plus when you’re going from man-on-man to zone coverage).
- Let her help: One of the best big sister gifts my daughter received was a cleaning set. She LOVES to help. So in any small way I could make her feel like she was helping, she was more than happy to do so. I asked her to sweep up under the table and to grab a spit-up cloth from the chair and to sing sweet songs to soothe the upset baby. It came to a point when the baby was around 4 months, the thing that could calm her down the fastest was her big sister’s singing. Oh, the pride!
- Focus on being the role model: As the baby grew older, I impressed upon my oldest daughter how important it was to set a good example and teach her little sister how to do things. It brought a great deal of responsibility (self-instilled) to her everyday tasks. “Watch how I drink my milk from a straw.” “I love to read that book. Do you want me to read it to you?” “Let’s go wash our hands together.” The youngest just follows now. The oldest is all to happy to have a little mini me (for now).
So what’s your tip for helping to smooth the transition when a new baby comes home to older siblings? Have you used any of the tips listed above?