I LOVE my kids and I love to snuggle, but sometimes I would like to exist for just a bit without being pulled, hung on, or, yes, hugged. How can I take back my body?
Sometimes you just need a little space to do what YOU need and want to do. Many parents, especially moms, feel that they must give ALL to their kids. The ALL includes their bodies. The thing is, if we give ALL of ourselves to our kids, in the end we have nothing left to give. You need some time and space to re-energize and be the parent that you want to be. Here are a few ways.
Set A Timer
This works especially well with toddlers. They like definites. Be clear, “Mommy needs a few minutes to herself. When the timer goes off I will play with you. Pick out some toys to play with when I get back.” When the timer goes off be sure to come back. Do not even wait a moment. If your kids know that you will come back when you say that you will, they will be more likely to be cool about giving you more and more space. You might want to start small with 5 minutes, them ten, and so on.
Be Clear And Stick To It
Sometimes we say things, but do not really show that we mean it. Yes, your little one may get upset that you do not want to be used as a human jungle gym, but stick with it. If you say, “You may not hang on me, that hurts my body.” Do not give up at the first sign of a tantrum. You bet your kid is going to be mad. They think that mommy’s body is THEIR body, but that is not so. If you are clear and stick with what you say, your kids will respect your words and needs.
You want to be the best parent that you can be, and to do that you need to feel energized, respected, and like yourself. You must meet your needs, and that will help you meet the needs of your kids even more. Lastly, we want our kids to do the same. If they do not want to be touched or need some space, you would want THEM to express that confidently (fast forward to the teen years). You want THEM to know that THEY are in control and in charge of their bodies. Be clear and be consistent, so that you can be the best parent you can be!
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.