Sorry for the delay in posting the latest and greatest on my positive parenting class. Sick kiddos, hectic holidays, and work commitments have kept these ideas in Microsoft Word for a couple of weeks. When I last left off I was anxiously awaiting the 22 cooperation techniques to get me through the day. These are tricks for me to use when I want my girls to do something but it’s not worth it for me to give a consequence for them doing or not doing them (what they are doing is a not a BIG deal—like running away or hitting). I have to say the list is very good and here are a couple I’ve tried (with brief explanations).
- Make it fun- make it a game (give a bag to see who can pick up all of the red toys)
- Praise: the goal of praise is to build a child’s self-esteem and strengthen their relationship with you. Essentially you want to plant in the child the desire to good and please you. Improper praise has no benefit (over-praising, too general, incorrect praise). Formula for proper praise: describe the act in great details, tell the child how it made you feel and how it helped you, and then give it a name (responsible, mature, kind). Example: Wow Caroline, you really were great putting away the dishes out of the dishwasher. That made me grateful for your help. You are so helpful.
- Use humor: make light of the situation or make it funny (pretending to be an elephant who forgot where the books go)
- Ask a question: pretend to be “dumb” (So is that where you usually put your clothes after you take them off?)
- Singing things: (We’re eating our peas, eating our peas, eating our peas all day. Oh what fun to eat our peas to make them go away- hey!)
These seem to be working and it is fun to do. The next hurdle to tackle is for me to come up with a list of what would constitute an “issue” in my house and would be BIG deal if they did it/didn’t do it. On the next call Simi will discuss in depth what is the best way to choose issues. That should be a GOOD one! I’ll be sure to fill in the blanks next week.
Elise
*** Disclosure: I was granted access to listen to six weeks of parenting lectures lasting one hour per week and in turn promised I would blog about what I heard and what I thought. If you are interested in taking this class, positive parenting live seminars are available via teleconference once a week.
