I see and hear about it all too often with our young students. What is a parent to do? If you let your child stop playing because you don’t know how to (or want to) deal with the screaming matches, your child might regret that you let him quit. What? YOU get blamed if he chooses to quit? Absolutely. I hear it from our adult students all the time: “I wish my parents didn’t let me quit when I was younger.”
Here are some tips to help your child work through frustration when she cannot master something immediately with her musical instrument:
Praise, praise, and praise some more!
Who wants to do something they are not good at? No one! So when your child plays even just one note correctly, praise until she grins. Help build up her confidence that she can achieve what she wants to – even if it is a small step each time.
Simply walk away
If adults cannot think straight when they are frustrated, then certainly children are not mature enough to do so. Get your child away from the instrument and then come back a bit later. A cool head is more likely to accomplish something.
How about another shiny sticker?
The beauty of young children is that little incentives can go a long away. One sticker for each measure? Sure, why not. An extra cookie at the end of dinner if you learn this part of the music? Yum yum! As long as you don’t do it all the time, giving incentives won’t become a habit.
A little tough love
Don’t be afraid to push your child to his full potential. You will always be the awesome parent even if he might be in tears at the moment. My daughter often claims that she cannot play the new piece of music that was just assigned. (Yup, I do not teach my own – that is a whole other post!) I don’t let that slide until serious efforts are made to learn her piece. Your child will know when and how to play you. Stay strong and he/she will thank you in the future!
As adults, we (most of us, ha!) have mastered how to work through frustrations and get better at doing something. Your child is still learning. You have to help him/her get there. That won’t happen unless you show them that getting frustrated is part of the learning process. The sooner they can work with their frustrations, the more they will blossom!
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Natalia Huang is the owner/founder of Natalia Huang Piano Studio near Grand Central Terminal. The studio offers piano lessons that are more than just piano instructions – passion, expertise, and creativity is what the studio is also about! Students experience the magic of music through piano playing; and will treasure a new musical attitude for life. an music myths, go out there and enhance your child’s education with some music lessons!
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.