It was about this time a few years ago that I began the overwhelming process of filling out applications for nursery school for my son. One of the questions on many of the applications asked to “describe the one characteristic I most wanted my son to exemplify.”
I thought about this for a long time. Did I want him to be smart, confident, curious, independent, successful? In the end, I decided that although I did indeed want my son to grow up and be all of those things, it was not the ONE thing. No, in the end here’s what I wrote: “I want my son to be kind.”
In fact, it was my mom who reminded me of this when she sent me “George Saunders’s Advice to Graduates,” recently featured in The New York Times. In it he says, “What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly. Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth? Those who were kindest to you, I bet.”
As my son fast approaches his tweens, I am happy and humbled to report that when people describe him, there is often one common word they use: kind. I would like to take some credit for this, but in reality, it is he who teaches me about kindness.
So here’s to following Saunders’ advice and “to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.”
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