You asked and you shall now receive. It’s only fair for us to share all of this stored up knowledge about toddlers and what happens when they start toddling (and talking)! We now will answer, in a very public forum, all of those burning questions about children in their second year. Each Wednesday, we will tackle a commonly-asked-question from the point of view of a parent with a toddler. Chiming in to give her feedback will be an expert who has been there and done that. Earmark, share and add your own input to today’s question; it’s good karma.
My toddler has started masturbating. What should I do?
Masturbation is a normal part of sexual development. Much like language or physical development it starts at early ages and does not need to be taught by anyone. Our job as parents is to help children be safe when they are developing so it is important to teach yourself about sexual development and understand where your own feelings are being played out when your children’s behaviors make you uncomfortable.
Masturbation is deliberate self stimulation that many children discover in their early preschool years.
For the most part ignoring the behavior can be most useful at very young ages. If your older toddler is masturbating frequently you can gently try to distract him or teach him that this is private behavior and needs to be done in his bedroom or in the bathroom.Just like learning to do other things children need some guidance when it comes to understanding their bodies.
Most importantly children should not be punished or shamed for masturbating. Here is a link from the University of Michigan Health System with some more detailed information.
About our expert-
Marsha Greenberg is a therapist in New York City. She is the author of the newly released book, Raising Your Toddler, by Globe Pequot Press. She has masters degrees in Child and Family Development and Social Work from the University of Michigan. As the Director of the Health Systems Child Care Program for over 14 years, she was responsible for over 250 children between the ages of 6 weeks and 6 years of age. Marsha teaches in the Early Childhood Special Education department at NYU and has a private psychotherapy practice in NYC. Marsha is the mother of three grown sons and has three grandsons (aged 4 and 18 months and 4 months) with a new grandchild on the way.
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