By Susan Lieberman, family therapist & owner of Family Support
The holidays are here! Most of us associate the holidays with happiness, excitement and time to spend with family. But for some, the holidays bring about a time of despair and loneliness. Everyone feels sad occasionally; it is an unavoidable part of being human. However, when these feelings of sadness lead to symptoms that include changes in sleep, appetite, energy and difficulty in concentrating and making decisions, it is time to seek help. According to a Toronto-based study, the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry reports that more than 1 out of 10 people aged 26 to 35 years old have suffered from major depression.
Though depression can affect all people, it tends to be twice as common in women than in men. It is believed that a variety of causes are responsible for the onset of depression. They include predisposing genetic factors, life events, psychological stress and physical ailments. For many people, the holidays are a time for negative thoughts and unrealistic expectations. The holiday season tends to be a busier and more stressful time. The extra demands on our time, energy and finances can be very difficult and for some, cause depression. It is important to know the difference between holiday depression and clinical depression. Clinical depression can affect your thoughts, feelings, behavior and overall health. The very nature of depression can interfere with a person’s ability to get help. It saps energy and self-esteem and makes a person feel tired, worthless, helpless and hopeless. The good news is that with proper treatment, nearly 80% of those with depression can significantly improve how they feel, thus lowering the impact of depression on their lives.
When depression is not treated, it can get worse, last longer and prevent you from enjoying life. Getting help means talking about feelings with a trained counsellor who can help change the relationships, thoughts or behaviours that are causing the depression.
Recognizing depression is the first step in treating it. It is important to remind those who are depressed that with time and help, he or she will feel better.
How Do You Know If You Have Depression?
Take the following quiz to see if you may be clinically depressed. To meet the criteria, five (or more) of the following symptoms must have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning….
- Depressed mood (feeling sad, worried or upset) most of the day, nearly every day.
- Diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day.
- Significant weight loss or gain, or increase/decrease in appetite, nearly every day.
- Had trouble sleeping, or been sleeping too much nearly every day.
- Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
- Feelings of worthlessness or excessive and/or inappropriate guilt.
- Had trouble concentrating or making decisions, nearly every day.
- Become irritated over small things that do not usually bother you.
- Recurrent thoughts of death and/or suicide. (NOTE: Please contact your doctor for help IMMEDIATELY if you replied “yes” to this last symptom.)
Challenging Negative Feelings
When a person is suffering from depression, the thoughts that are often racing through their mind are negative, self-critical and/or hopeless. Through cognitive-behavioral therapy, the individual learns to recognize their negative thoughts and common holiday triggers and then make a conscious decision to change them. Such thoughts and triggers are often minimized with the use of “self-talk” and by challenging negative feelings and beliefs. These strategies will help a person to gain objectivity and to react less seriously to their thoughts.
Negative self-talk perpetuates feelings of despair and low self-esteem. It is important to challenge beliefs by focusing on self-talk…
- Train yourself to recognize self-critical thoughts and record them in a daily record. In other words, ask yourself what thoughts are going through your head and write them down.
- Develop and record a more positive and realistic thought; one that negates the negative thought and nurtures a healthier system of self-evaluation.
Example: Some important people in your life are not going to be there for the holidays and you have a negative thought such as “I have no one” Recognize that the thought is an overgeneralization and that you do have other people in your life that you can spend time with…write down who those people are no matter how few they may be.
Managing Depression Over the Holidays
To help manage depression during the holidays the following can be helpful:
- Acknowledge your feelings and seek help and support from friends, family and/or a professional
- Set realistic goals and expectations
- Avoid alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant and is the last thing you need.
- Exercise and eat properly
- Make time for yourself
- If you are suffering from loneliness, do not be alone for the holidays. Search out friends and/or volunteer your time.
How Can Counselling Help?
Depression can be treated with the use of medication, specifically antidepressants (e.g. SSRIs), as well as with cognitive-behavioural therapy. Most people with depression can be helped with counselling. Having depression does not mean that a person is weak, is a failure, or isn’t really trying…it means they need treatment.
With cognitive behavioural therapy, the patient learns to identify negative thoughts and behaviours and realizes that typically, they do not accurately reflect their life situation. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect and depressed feelings are replaced with more positive ones.
Depression can be difficult to understand. However, when diagnosed correctly, depression is treatable. With the right use of medications and/or therapy, depression can be managed and in a large majority of patients, can be eliminated altogether in just a matter of weeks. Susan Lieberman is in private practice in Toronto, Canada as a family therapist and public speaker. For more information, go online at familysupport.net or call (416) 512-6356.
