If you’re like most parents, then you love your kids more than anything, and you love to see their faces light up when you purchase them a new gift or reward. However, it is important to draw a line between providing the essentials and spoiling our children. Today, we will talk about why spoiling is bad, how you can provide without going to extremes, and the importance of considering your budget before making new purchases.
The Problem With Spoiling
Spoiling is essentially giving your kids everything they want. It might be because you love them and want to see them smile, or you’re using a gift as a reward. In either case, it is important for parents to practice restraint.
There are many negative long-term effects of spoiling, including giving your kids a sense of entitlement that can be hard to shake, even years down the road. Plus, when you give your kids everything they ask for, they will continue to get bored and dissatisfied with the toys they do have. This sense of never having enough can hamper their success and happiness as adults.
If your child is causing issues and you remedy the situation by promising to buy them a toy if they behave, then that can cause an ongoing problem. A continuation of this trend could lead your children to never take responsibility for their actions, and that can also hurt them as they grow. Your kids need to learn from their mistakes so they can mature, and spoiling them will rob them of those lessons.
How To Provide Without Going Overboard
Although you should not spoil your kids, you also shouldn’t leave them empty-handed. As parents, we need to provide for our children and give them the essentials for a happy life. Just don’t go overboard. Give them gifts on their birthdays and during the holidays, and other occasional treats. But don’t give them a reward just because they stopped misbehaving and causing a scene.
With that said, you can still give gifts to your child when they have shown good behavior. You just shouldn’t use it as a crutch. Instead, buy them a toy when you’re particularly impressed with something positive they did. It is a good way to show that you appreciate them. Just practice restraint and don’t buy them presents every time. Remember that you can reward your kids in other ways, like verbally telling them how proud you’re and creating a sticker chart for every day that they practice good manners.
It can be hard to walk through a store or watch television and hear your kid request every fun toy that they see. However, if your child constantly asks for things, then one trick you can use is to tell them that you will add it to their wish list. Tell them that you have a list for birthdays and holidays and that you will see if they can maybe get the gift then. Remember that you can tell family and friends to buy some of those gifts if they’re looking for ideas.
Proper Money Management Is Also A Key Factor
While spoiling your kids can hurt their development, it can also hurt your wallet. You can teach all of your kids about the differences between needs versus wants. As adults, we know that items like food, mortgage payments, and utilities are essential. Meanwhile, there are items we want, like a sports car or dinners out. These are fun things, but we don’t need them to survive.
You can start to teach this to your children at a young age by talking about items that are important to them. By showing them fun videos and explaining things on their level. So, you can talk about how they need food to live but not ice cream and candy. You can even turn the lesson into a game.
It is important to teach your kids about budgeting, which you can do with their allowance. Once they’re old enough, give them money each week for performing work around the house, and they will learn how money works and the importance of saving to get what they want.
Spoiling kids can be an even bigger issue for single parents who have less to give, so it is important to teach the lessons we discussed above. If you’re a single parent, then you should focus on managing your money by sticking to your essential expenses and considering the 50/20/30 rule. That is where you get a paycheck and spend 50% on mandatory expenses, 30% on paying off debt and savings, and 20% on discretionary spending, like those gifts for your child.
There is a strong line between spoiling your children and providing the essentials. Set a good example early on, and your kids will be happy and successful.