You asked and you shall now receive. It’s only fair for us to share all of this stored up knowledge about big kids and their physical, social and emotional development as they grow. We now will answer, in a very public forum, all of those burning questions about big kids – children five and up. Each month, we will tackle a commonly-asked-question from the point of view of a parent with a big kid. Chiming in to give feedback will be an expert (you know, someone who does this for a living). Earmark, share and add your own input to today’s question; it’s good karma.
How can I keep my child from acting spoiled during the holidays?
Having a child that acts spoiled can make parents crazy! In fact, as a mom of two boys, I often get so over-sensitive about not spoiling my kids during the holidays that I actually become a bit of Grinch!
Luckily, Laura – Mommybites’ other co-founder – and I interviewed our moms, Dr. Karen Rancourt and Dahlia Peyser awhile back on this very subject! You can read the whole interview on keeping kids from acting spoiled, but here are some highlights:
How can I be generous with my kids without being overindulgent?
Dahlia Peyser: I see no harm in enjoying the commercial aspects of the season. Problems arise when the consumer is purchasing for personal needs inconsistent with a healthy relationship to money: “I want my kids to feel cared for,” “I don’t want my child to be jealous of others,” “I want to give my child everything I didn’t get when I was growing up.” Most problems arise when the children absorb the parents’ conflicted attitude and begin to use spending and accumulating as a weapon.
How can I effectively deal with my child saying, “I want…?”
Karen Rancourt: Keep a running list of all these I-want items for your child and each time she says, “I want…” say, “Let’s add it to your gift wish list and then we can consider it as a birthday or holiday gift.” Then, when gift-giving time is on the horizon, you can prioritize the wish list with your child. When grandparents and others ask what they can get for your child, reference his or her gift wish list. Keeping a gift wish list for your child has several benefits: it helps him learn deferred gratification, it cuts down on disappointments, it eliminates the exchange frenzy and it helps gift givers feel that they’re giving something that is truly of value or interest to the child.
How can I encourage relatives not to overindulge my children?
Karen Rancourt: Your child’s gift givers typically think of purchasing something material, but including on the wish list events and experiences as gifts can be incredibly enriching and valuable. Think how excited your child will be to learn that as a gift, Grandma and Grandpa are taking her to the circus, or for art lessons at the museum, or to rent a boat in Central Park, or to see a Broadway musical.
How can I emphasize graciousness and gratitude when receiving gifts?
Karen Rancourt: Prior to your son’s opening his presents, review with him the cardinal rule of accepting gifts: “Even if you are disappointed, always look at the gift giver and say, ‘Thank you!’” You can also help your child be a gracious gift receiver by handing him each gift to be opened, making sure he opens each card and either reads it himself or has it read to him.
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The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.
