You asked and you shall now receive. It’s only fair for us to share all of this stored up knowledge about a toddlers and what happens when they start toddling (and talking)! We now will answer, in a very public forum, all of those burning questions about children in their second year. Each Wednesday, we will tackle a commonly-asked-question from the point of view of a parent with a toddler. Chiming in to give her feedback will be an expert who has been there and done that. Earmark, share and add your own input to today’s question; it’s good karma.
When and how do we transition to a big girl/boy bed?
Expert: Marsha Greenberg
There is no exact time for a toddler to transition to a big bed. Most importantly you need to be prepared for some extra time helping them learn to stay in bed-and learn to stay in their room. If your toddler is happy in his crib there is no developmental reason to think about changing other then getting too big to fit or is it getting dangerous for them to get out of bed or you need the crib for your new baby.
Transitioning to a toddler bed can take a few weeks. If you feel your toddler is ready begin to talk about a new bed. You can let your toddler know that in a few days a new bed is going to come. Talk about how you will put the crib in a safe place so the new bed can fit in the room and have a special place. If you have the room put the bed together early in the day with the crib still standing so your toddler can see the two beds and get used to the upcoming change. When you put the crib away say good bye to it together. Talk about what is different about the new bed, the special sheets, and all the cozy places his bear will be able to cuddle up in the new bed. Let him know that he will be able to get in and out of his new bed in the morning and that you will be able to lay down with him to read books together at night.
Start your bedtime routine a little earlier for the first few days in case your toddler is reluctant to stay in the bedroom. If your toddler comes out of the room gently remind them they have to go to sleep and walk them back. If they are struggling you can try sitting in a chair at the door and let them know that it takes time to get comfy in a new bed but you will help them. If they are old enough you can remind them of times they have stayed at grandmom’s house and how cozy other beds can be.
If your toddler wanders out at night you may need to put a gate on the bedroom door and make sure dangerous things are put away from counters at night.
Toddlers sometimes choose to stay on the floor near their new beds as they get used to the change but in a few weeks most toddlers have made the transition successfully.
Marsha Greenberg M.S., M.S. W
Marsha is a therapist in New York City. She is the author of the newly released book, Raising Your Toddler, by Globe Pequot Press. She has masters degrees in Child and Family Development and Social Work from the University of Michigan. As the Director of the Health Systems Child Care Program for over 14 years, she was responsible for over 250 children between the ages of 6 weeks and 6 years of age. Marsha teaches in the Early Childhood Special Education department at NYU and has a private psychotherapy practice in NYC. Marsha is the mother of three grown sons and has three grandsons (aged 4 and 18 months and 4 months) with a new grandchild on the way.
