We hosted our first teleclass recently, dedicated to discussing the topic of children and divorce. We discussed that divorce is rarely easy, especially when children are involved – but it does not need to sentence children to a lifetime of emotional troubles.
One the most important things to keep in mind, according to our speaker, Debbie Pincus, is to really hear your children. Listen to how they are feeling. Honor that they may feel sad, angry, mad or even neutral. Help them understand that you, as the parent, appreciate how they feel – and even if baited by the other parent, try never to badmouth your ex-spouse. As Debbie says, “It takes two parents to put a child in the middle.” If one parent refuses to participate in the “tug-o-war”, then there’s no middle. And “no middle” is exactly what to aim for.
The full taped teleclass is available here.
Please note that everything said on this teleclass are general answers to commonly asked questions. Please keep in mind that there is no one right answer for every family and for every situation. Individual factors have to be considered such as timing of events, individual temperaments, circumstances, coping ability of individuals, etc. before deciding the best way to address issues or solve family problems.
Debbie Pincus is a psychotherapist and coach. She has been practicing privately for over 25 years and has offices in Manhattan, Larchmont, NY and Greenwich, CT. She leads parent groups through Greenwich Hospital and The Relationship Center. Ms. Pincus is the founder and Executive Director of The Relationship Center. She writes weekly online articles for Empowering Parents and has a CD series and book entitled CALM PARENT AM & PM, published by Legacy Publishing Company. She facilitates workshops, seminars and parent groups throughout the area.