As the holiday season approaches, there will be many changes to your family’s normal routine. Perhaps you have family members staying at your home, traveling from one location to another or even traveling a great distance during a very short period of time. For children, these changes to their normal routine can add some extra stress or worrying. If you have a child that tends to worry about school, his friends, social interactions, or extracurricular activities such as sports, the holidays may lead to an increase in this emotion.
The worrying may stem from your child not knowing what to expect at any of these family events or where or when you are going to these different places; or from being removed from his natural environment and routine. In order to prepare your child for the holidays as well as increase the likelihood of a smooth emotional transition through them, you can try some of the following activities. It is important to note that many of these activities will also help your child with worrying that occurs outside of the busy holiday season.
It is important to openly speak with your child about how he/she is feeling inside. Listen attentively to your child and try not to pressure him/her to share his/her feelings. By making yourself available, your child will share what he/she is feeling or thinking about in due time.
Discuss all holiday plans with your child in advance and see how he/she reacts. When doing so, only make realistic plans with your child. Your child could be let down if he or she thinks a family member will arrive to the holiday celebration and then does not show.
If your child is active and energetic, allow some breaks in the traveling (if possible) to toss a ball around or simply go for a walk. These breaks will reduce tension and anxiety and keep everyone’s heads clear.
Try your best to keep your child’s sleep habits similar. With proper sleep, your child can better handle all of the increased social interactions. There will be an increase in stimulation, and while some children love this, others can become very anxious and upset. If you see your child starting to get upset from the overstimulation, take your child and go for a quick walk outside or to a quiet room in the house for a few minutes. Allow your child to have the necessary time to decompress from the overstimulation.
Be present with your child while you are celebrating and continue holiday traditions, even if a parent is missing. Try and do your best to spend quality time with your child during the holidays and put other distractions aside. Your presence will ease your child’s worrying and will help to soothe him/her. This is especially important if you are traveling away from home or in an environment that is not familiar to your child.
If your child is worried, try making a worry jar and bringing it with you while you travel. Whenever your child is worried about something, have him or her write the worry down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Explain to your child that you will save these worries for when you have a chance to sit down and speak about them. Many times, your child will realize that what he was worried about never actually occurred. If it is too late to make this jar, you can simply write down the worries together and create a list that you will look at when you get a chance.
Try to help your child find solutions to the worries that he/she might be having and to embrace the positive changes that are occurring due to all of the holiday celebrations.
I also recommend a children’s book about worrying that can be read and discussed at any time of the year to help open up your communication with your child. The book is entitled Is a Worry Worrying You? by Ferida Wolff and Harriet May Savitz. This book is wonderful because it helps you discuss worrying with humor and imagination. It also helps you teach your child about how to reduce worries through creative problem-solving.
Lastly, try to take care of yourself. If you allow for ample preparation time and travel time, your child will see you in a calmer manner, which will help with his own worrying and anxiety. Above all, laughter helps to sooth worry. Try and keep the holidays as light and fun as possible, even though we all know that they can certainly be stressful!
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Dr. Allison Johnson, PhD, LAC, of Dr. Johnson Counseling Services, LLC, is a therapist and educational psychologist who specializes in therapy for children, adolescents and adults in Bergen County. She is a Licensed Associate Counselor, a certified school counselor, teacher and school administrator who focuses on helping adolescents and young adults with issues related to body image and self-esteem, relationships, anger management, coping and stress management, transition, and career development and exploration. Additionally, she has a great deal of experience working with at-risk adolescents on an academic, personal, social and emotional level. Dr. Johnson earned her doctoral degree from Fordham University. You can contact her at the following: Phone: (973) 769-6304, Email: dr.allisonjohnson@gmail.com , Website: www.drjohnsoncounselingservices.com.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.
