We are starting to play games with our toddler. Should we let her win? I don’t want her to feel bad about herself, and she has tantrums when she loses.
This is a tricky one. There are games that we are just able to win, being grownups and all. We have been playing them forever, and we just understand how to play them. That being said, there are some games based on luck.
When playing with a young child, it is a good idea to win every few games. If you are going to play a game twice, you can win one. If you choose to lose, no need to lose by much. Children need to learn how to lose and be disappointed and move on. It is alright to be bothered by losing – and a young child can express that in a few ways. She can walk away for a moment, grumble a bit, express the disappointment, but also have her learn to move forward.
Have children say, “Great game!” to the winner and you all can high five. There may be tantrums and tears, but it is important for kids to lose. They will not always win with their friends. Teaching them how to lose with grace will save friendships and keep them from reacting with yelling and pushing when playing, which will land them in trouble at school.
Along with learning how to lose, kids need to learn how to win. It is fine to be happy about a win, but it is not okay to make an opponent feel bad – even if that opponent is you. “I am the best ever.” “I beat you. You can’t play. I am better than you.” This is NOT the winning that you want to encourage. Your child can be happy, but again, have everyone say “good game” and high five.
Life is all about learning and growing- and the start date for those is at birth. As your child grows, she learns about her world and how to flow and thrive. Losing is a life lesson that does not need to be put off until a later date. (And when would that be?) No need to win every game, but give your child the opportunity to experience all that life has to offer, including losing.
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.
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