The post-partum period is made up of late nights and early mornings and what felt to me like a whole lot of waiting; waiting for the incessant crying to melt away and some small bit of sanity to return, and praying for a moment of peace. While eventually babies do learn to self-soothe, few other things actually ever calm down because each milestone also brings new and often times, more difficult and consuming challenges. The fact is, the chaos lives on and if you want peace, you have to create it for yourself. Daily struggles are ever-present and the sooner you realize that the madness won’t vanish once your child hits a certain age, the more blissful your parenting journey will be. A word of advice? Stop fighting it!
Here are six signs that you’ve accepted the chaos that goes hand-in-hand with parenting (and always will):
1. You can keep your cool even during the fiercest tantrums.
If every tantrum boiled your blood, you’d be suffering from severe heat exhaustion daily. While a child dumping her plate on the floor during dinner is surely irritating as all hell, it doesn’t ruin your day or even your meal anymore. These days, you can keep calm and finish your meal even though a screaming banshee who stripped down naked and is slathering her body in mashed potatoes is sitting directly across from you.
2. You dabble in free-range parenting techniques.
While you once feared your child roaming the gated front yard without you at their back, you now let them tromp, play and interact with other kids freely and easily. You sometimes even let minor conflicts arise without jumping in. While you maintain discipline when needed, you don’t feel the need to step in every time your child acts like, well, a child, and it feels pretty good.
3. You’ve gotten zen about the pink thing (but maybe not the princess thing).
You tried your best to introduce your child to different colors, clothes and stories. You didn’t want her to miss out of anything by stereotyping her into what girls tend to go for just because she’s a girl. But the truth is, it’s out there and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t change well-meaning friends, grandparents and strangers from shoving pink and princesses at little girls. While you can continue introducing your child to other forms of play, you’re okay with the fact that right now everything has to be “the pink one.” It is, in fact, a very nice color.
4. You read a chapter of a book.
For the longest time, you couldn’t crack open a book and actually read the words without your thoughts drifting back to your child. If you weren’t busy worrying, chances are you were asleep before you finished the first page. These days, you can actually read a chapter of a book before falling asleep or without your to-do list giving you a migraine first.
5. You enjoy family time.
If you haven’t had a break from your kids in a while, often times, family hang outs can start to feel like… well, work. If you’ve accepted the chaos, chances are you can let yourself relax a bit more, be present and enjoy these magic moments. Breaks are good (and necessary), but not feeling like you are suffocating 24/7 is even better.
6. You sometimes feel like a person, instead of “Mom.”
One of the biggest challenges in parenting is to hold onto who you are, while embracing being the best parent you know how to be. In the beginning, it’s easy to get lost in trying to be 100% mom all the time. But lately, you’re remembering what it feels like to get in a workout, be social or to do something nice for yourself. You may be a mom, but you have needs (and wants!) and making yourself happy is still as important as ever.
Sarah Bregel is a mother, a writer and a women’s personal trainer. She loves yoga, food and wine and believes everything in moderation is the best advice in the world. She lives in Baltimore with her husband, Marshall and their daughter, Piper. She writes about health and wellness at BHealthyBmore.com and her parenting journey at MyPipeDreams.com.
* Healthy Living is section of our website co-hosted by Lemi Shine. Lemi Shine has compensated Mommybites to be a partner in this awesome Healthy Living section on our website. This partnership does not influence the content, topics or posts made on this blog. We always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on all topics, products, and services.
