I’m sure there are a lot of parents who can relate to the never-ending battle of getting children to brush their teeth. I’m not sure why this is such a common daily struggle, but I know that it is. I’ve seen parents handle the situation in many different ways, but I finally found a trick that I think works well and goes along with the way I want to parent – setting limits, but also teaching my children personal responsibility and consequences.
This is how I present the issue to my youngest daughter:
I say, “My job as a parent is to keep you healthy. This includes your teeth and making sure you don’t get cavities. Your job as a child is to take responsibility for brushing your own teeth. It is ultimately up to you whether or not you want to handle that responsibility because they aren’t my teeth. However, as a parent who has a job to do, I can’t let you have any unhealthy foods that are going to cause your teeth to rot. So, if I can’t trust you to brush your teeth well on your own, then I also can’t trust you to eat chocolate or candy throughout the day. We’ll have to stick to only non-sugary foods and drinks that I deem the most healthy and the least likely to cause cavities.”
One thing I want to note is that when making a change with your children, before things get better, they’re bound to get worse. If you haven’t been consistent in enforcing rules or you’ve been letting things – like teeth brushing – slide (or doing it for them), you are bound to experience some resistance when you change your rules or the way you enforce them.
I always recommend sitting your children down and talking to them. Transparency goes a long way, but it’s not something you should do in the moment. Talk about bedtime routines before you get to that time of night. Talk about your child’s responsibilities when everyone is calm.
Lastly, don’t make idle threats. If your child refuses to brush his or her teeth one night and you don’t enforce the “no sweets” policy the next day, you’ve undermined yourself and taught your child you don’t follow through.
At the same time, if you give your child the option and the child still refuses, you can’t go back and say, “Well, you still have to.” You need to follow through with restricting the sweets the next day. Don’t dole out additional punishments or consequences. Stick to the plan!
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Limor Weinstein is a Mental Health Counselor and certified eating disorders specialist. After working with individuals and groups for the past 10 years, she realized she wanted to focus on prevention of mental health issues within the family. By intervening with children and families early on and helping them find the right services, she hopes to create a stronger foundation that will lead to a happier and healthier future. She offers services in the arenas of family wellness (body image concerns, eating disorders, parent coaching, life coaching and career counseling) as well as nanny management (family needs assessments, nanny selection and vetting, training, monitoring, reporting and nanny counseling).
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