Mommybites Chit-Chat: Conversations with luminaries, entrepreneurs and influencers in the parenting world
Tell us a little about you (your background, your job, what makes you tick or anything else you think our Mommybites moms will find interesting).
I am a mom to three boys, Nathan, 13, AJ, 5, and Davey, 18 months. I am also a pediatrician at Premier Pediatrics where I have been working since 2009. I love being a mom and a pediatrician. I think my boys help give me insight and relate to other parents. Working with children and giving back to the pediatric community as a whole serves as a model for my children about the importance of giving back to others and realizing that there is a world outside of our own personal needs.
Before I went to medical school, I completed my Master’s of Public Health and was focused on community health education. During this time period, I realized I wanted the one-on-one patient contact and decided to go to medical school. As I went through my rotations in my third year of medical school, I found that I was happiest on my pediatric rotation and really couldn’t imagine doing anything else. I really enjoyed the relationships I developed with the children and their families. Ultimately, wanting to help keep children healthy and watch as they grow up, and connecting with the family as an entire unit, is what inspired me to become a general pediatrician.
Interestingly, my life has come full circle and I am now doing more speaking and writing focused on health education on common pediatric topics. I feel like I have the best of both worlds – the patient and family relationships and effecting change by educating on a more global level. I feel very blessed and thankful both personally and professionally.
What or who inspires you?
Postpartum mental health and support for the entire family is my current career and personal passion. After the birth of my second son in 2010, I suffered from debilitating postpartum anxiety which I shared in a recent article in The Huffington Post. My symptoms were so severe that I could not recognize my own symptoms. Worse though, my ability to hide my symptoms and seem like I “had it all together,” prevented anyone from reaching out to me or knowing I needed help. I lived in a dark isolation in those first 4 months of my child’s life.
I am determined in my personal and professional life to do as much as I can to prevent other women and families from suffering like I did. Sometimes, this feels like an uphill battle fighting against the stigma of mental illness and the current cultural belief that mothers and fathers should be filled with nothing but pure joy from the moment after they give birth. I passionately speak out about postpartum mood disorders and try to educate new parents that both mothers and fathers can suffer from postpartum mood disorders, that there is nothing to be ashamed of, and these are treatable illnesses. I encourage any new parents to reach out to me personally if they need support. I am also passionate about having every family screened for postpartum mood disorders as a regular component of well-child care.
On a more global level, our practice has started a unique program, The First Month. This program designed to help new parents transition from pregnancy to parenthood. Whether it’s your first or fifth child, becoming a new parent is filled with both excitement and sometimes anxiety. We have tried to identify the most common challenges new families face and do our best to help guide and support families through these early weeks. We offer an array of services including in-house lactation consultation, individualized emotional support, and classes to provide support in the beginning of life.
Professionally, I am honored to have joined The Seleni Institute advisory board this year. Being a part of their global mission to improve maternal mental health is very exciting.
What is your best piece of parenting advice?
That the way you discipline should be evolving and fluid and set up to meet the current developmental needs of your child. The way you discipline a 15-month-old is quite different than a 15-year-old. You cannot reason with a 15-month-old. If you are trying to reason with a 15-month-old, you may as well be speaking a foreign language. Children this age have a short attention span, which makes distraction a great method of discipline. If you can get in and distract your child before they grab Johnny’s toy, it sends the message that it’s not okay to take the toy – while allowing them save face and hopefully prevent a meltdown.
My best advice for dealing with children is to be consistent. Sticking to your consequences and having the consequence suit the poor behavior is the most successful way to prevent the undesired behavior from repeating. Consistency is key. If you let your child do one thing one day and then punish them for the same thing the following day, this is very confusing and will actually lead to an increase in the undesired behavior whether, biting, food refusal, back talk, or throwing food.
What’s the worst piece of parenting advice you have heard?
That there is only one “right” way to parent. Each family unit and each child is unique and it is important to realize that what works for one family may not work for yours. Even with my three boys, my parenting style is slightly different to complement their unique temperaments.
What’s the most common question you are asked by parents?
1. When can I take my baby out? You can get outside and take walks with your newborn once you feel up to it. You should avoid crowded/enclosed spaces, including airplanes, until after he’s received his two-month vaccines. If your baby is exposed to crowded or enclosed spaces, it increases his risk of getting sick. Call the pediatrician – if you have questions about whether a place is “safe” for your baby, we’d rather you ask than take a chance.
2. Is it normal for my baby to be congested and sneezing? Newborns breathe much better through their noses than through their mouths. They have small nasal passages so any little bit of congestion can make their breathing sound very noisy; they may even sound like a washing machine when breathing. The only way for your baby to clear his nose is by sneezing, which explains why newborns sneeze a lot. Typically, the congestion bothers the parents more than the baby. If your baby is happy and feeding and sleeping well, there is no reason to intervene. If your baby is bothered by the congestion you can use some nasal saline drops and suction to help make him more comfortable. Keeping a cold mist humidifier running will also help with nasal congestion. Call your pediatrician if your infant is less than two-months-old and has a temperature 100.4 or above, is feeding poorly, is irritable, is having persistently rapid breathing, has a change of color to the lips to pale or blue, or if you have any other concerns.
3. How can I prevent picky eating? Introducing variety to your little one provides the best chance for preventing them from being a picky eater as they grow up. Right now, choosing the best foods for your baby or toddler is easier and more accessible than ever. As your baby starts to love single ingredients like carrots, start offering fun additions to ingredients and combinations like Ella’s Kitchen’s Carrots, Apples, Parsnips. Healthy eating starts with being a good role model. If you eat healthy foods then it is more likely that your child will too.
What are some of your favorite T.V. shows? Books? Foods?
1. I am absolutely obsessed with peanut butter (I consider myself super lucky that none of my kids are allergic). The funny thing is that I am actually the only one in my house who likes and eats peanut butter which you would never know from our grocery list!
2. I really enjoy reading even though I don’t get to read as much as I would like. My favorite genres are biographies and historical fiction. I like books that are emotionally intense. Two recent favorites are When Breath Becomes Air and Brain on Fire.
3. My favorite series to read to my boys is the Pigeon series by Mo Willems. My absolute favorite is Don’t Let the Pigeon Stay up Late with my favorite line being, “ Hey hey ho ho this here pigeon just won’t go.” My son AJ and I will chant it together. Even the thought of it makes me laugh out loud. My baby is on a serious Good Night Moon kick right now. All my guys went through it. I know that book by heart and could literally recite it accurately at any given moment.
What parenting books do you most recommend to parents?
1. The Everyday Parenting Toolkit by Alan Kazdin. This is one of my favorite books about discipline. It talks a lot about positive parenting and positive reinforcement. What’s really great is that it gives you some concrete suggestions on how to do this. I think as parents we often try various charts and methods to encourage our children to behave a certain way. This is an effective method, but knowing how to implement the chart is really important. For example, you really want to set your child up for success and to get the prize. You want to focus on the behavior you want (known as the positive opposite) not the behavior you are trying to get rid of. For example, if you are trying to get your child to eat more vegetables you may start by rewarding them just putting the vegetable on the plate and slowly progress towards eating vegetables and trying new foods. He stresses that allowing your child to practice the desired behavior and providing positive reinforcement is the key to success.
2. The Magic Years by Selma Fraiberg. This is a great book. It gives the child’s perspective of the world and how they are experiencing the world from an emotional and cognitive experience.
3. Touchpoints Birth-Three by T. Berry Brazelton. This is a great book that focuses on a child’s development from age 0-3years. It is well organized by age and provides excellent and balanced advice.
4. Caring for Your Baby and Young Child Birth to Age Five written by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). This book provides information on various parenting topics, safety, common medical topics for young children. The guidance is based on the AAP guidelines which are well research and evidence based.
What are some of your favorite parenting products?
1. I absolutely love my Newton mattress! As a mom, one of my biggest fears is the fear of SIDS. I am really strict about sleep safety and always looking for ways to make sure my little guys are safe when they are sleeping. This mattress is 100% breathable, which gives a whole new peace of mind when rollovers happen. This mattress is hypoallergenic and washable! My guys (and lots of babies) get really sweaty heads. I love that with the Newton, Davey does not wake up with a sweaty head or back in the morning because of the breathability allows complete air flow.
2. I love Ella’s Kitchen products. My boys started off with their pouches and now I love the Todder snacks. Davey loves the carrots + lentil multigrain sticks and I think they are great because they are low in sugar, have protein and taste delicious.
3. Babo botanicals. My bathroom looks like a rainbow of Babo products! I and the boys all have very sensitive skin, so I am super choosy when it comes to what products I use. I started using Babo for the boys, and then my husband and I fell in love with them! We each have a different favorite; hence, the rainbow of Babo products on my shower shelf.
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The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.
