As parents it is sometimes difficult for us to teach our children that winning is anything more than beating someone at a game or contest at the expense of another person losing. It doesn’t have to be that way. There are circumstances when a win-win attitude engages people and attracts the best in everyone.
So how do we instill this win-win attitude in our children? It starts with us. As parents, we need to begin to look at the world more as a whole universe, where sometimes the experience of doing something, feeling something or having something is just as important as not.
That is to say, understanding the balance of energy in the world. Teaching our children oftentimes what goes around comes around can be a most positive mantra. If you do good things for people, good things will happen for you. Teaching our children to celebrate their friend’s success is so very important in order for them to feel good about themselves when they succeed. Too many parents are too competitive and pass that competitive win/ lose attitude to their children, which causes them pressure to perform, anxiety and many times a feeling of non-fulfillment.
If your children are poor losers, take a close look at how you react when you lose. I have played many a round of golf at country clubs where grown men throw their clubs, or snap the club over their knee in half, when they missed a shot. How many of our children are watching those attitudes being displayed and learning that missing a shot or failure is totally unacceptable – when the reality is that even the best pro players learn to recover from errand shots all the time.
Here’s another example of how we “praise” our children:
‘This is a great report card but I know you can do better.” The question is: does your child know he can do better? It would be better to say, “This is a wonderful report card. I’m very proud of you. How do you feel about it?” Getting children’s buy-in and their opinions early builds confidence in their decision-making process and a feeling of worthiness as they get older. It’s all about win-win.
The most important aspect of building a win-win attitude is for your children to know that if you’re going to compete in sports and in life, there are times when you will win and there are times when others will win – that it’s the process of participating that enriches our lives and builds character.
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Dr. David Kaplowitz is a certified professional coach and a master practitioner of energy leadership. This has allowed David to serve his clients and get to the core of what’s holding them back. After running a successful chiropractic practice for over 20 years and engaging in health and business endeavors, David brings his experience and expertise to the coaching arena. Dr. Kaplowitz’s determination coupled with his intuition and innate ability to connect with people allows him to show others that their obstacles are actually stepping stones to opportunity.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.
