We want our kids to be joyful and care-free. We want them to experience all that life has to offer and we do not want to hold them back. And let’s be honest, sometimes we just can’t bear another tantrum. But ya still gotta do it. Even if it feels mean, or you don’t wanna, or it is hard. You HAVE to say NO.
I have been asked, Why do I have to say no? They are just kids, let them be. And while I do like to limit my nos, there are a few reasons ya just gotta say NO.
Safety
Your child may want to touch fire, jump on the couch placed near the wooden coffee table or stay up way past her bedtime. All of those super fun things in life then have a tendency to end poorly. We know better, and it is our job to keeps kids safe even when they don’t want us to.
A little adventure is great, but it’s never a good day when you have to get stitches or set a bone. “No, you can’t jump on the couch, but you can jump on the floor.” “No, you can’t go outside without your coat, but you do not need to zip it.” NO does not have to be all bad.
Set Limits
NO is good for setting limits, for letting kids know that they cannot do what they want to do just because they wanna. This is important because you know grown ups who still haven’t learned that lesson and you don’t like them. NO, your kid can’t throw his water on the floor because he wants to. He cannot hit you or others because he is mad. No, your child cannot pick out 10 books at night because he “needs” to hear them all.
Your child needs to know that there are limits to what he can do and that there are expectations that she needs to fulfill. Children learn these things through trial and error and little by little during childhood. “No, you cannot pick out 10 books, but you can grab 2.” “No more crayons. I told you not to write on the table and you did it again.”
Because someone else has needs
Kids are selfish. They have a hard time seeing things from another point of view, and that is fine. That is where they are in life, but we don’t want them to stay there. We need to say NO. Sometimes we don’t want to play at that moment. Sometimes a a big sister does not want her things used by a younger sibling, or the other way around. Other people have needs, and though young children have a hard time understanding that, it is still our responsibility to instill it.
I am not sending you off to say, No, No, No to your kids. I want you to use the word wisely, but not be afraid of it. The word may send your child into a wild tantrum, but that is just at first. She may not be happy to hear your NO, but as time goes on she will accept it with less of an eruption.
Go forth and say NO to keep kids safe, give life lessons, and teach respect for your and others’ needs and wants.
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.
The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.
