At a recent soccer game for my six-year-old, I couldn’t help but observe on the sideline asone parent screamed at his child – along with the other kids on the team – telling them what to do, play by play, as the game went on. Now, I know that I am not the most competitive person by nature, but I was amazed (or should I say appalled?) at the way he was yelling at six-year-olds on the pee wee soccer field. My daughter, who was sitting on my lap, actually asked if me if the man next to us was the new coach.
Many parents feel that it is their “job” to teach their kids by screaming at them on the field during the entire game. The stress and pressure they can put on their kids is enormous and detrimental. The dirty looks that they get from other people next to them on the sideline doesn’t seem to deter them at all.
As parents, it is hard for us to let go of all aspects of our children’s lives. Sports has always been a tough one. If you are an avid sports fan, it is hard to contain yourself from yelling and cheering at the television, let alone your own child. When it comes to your kids, however, parents need to take a step back and chill out!
How can parents be supportive, appropriate, and constructive at the same time?
Here are 5 tips to keep in mind:
1) Go to the team practices with your child. Practices are always less intense for the younger kids and the coaches usually encourage help, suggestions, and parent involvement.
2) BEFORE (not during) the game is a good time to give your child a few easy pointers that they can remember during the game. Maybe over breakfast or in a casual and relaxed setting.
3) Be POSITIVE! All kids want to hear their parents’ approval. Even if they miss the goal or strike out at the plate, they need to hear the words, “It’s okay, good try” (say it like you mean it)!!!!
4) After the game, focus on the things that your child did well. For example, “You kept a positive attitude; good running; great focus; good energy” are all good suggestions for you to use. No child wants to be critiqued or criticized during the game in front of their peers.
5) Last, but certainly not least, remember that the ice cream truck is there for kids who tried their best, not just for the winners! Rewarding kids for trying hard and keeping a positive attitude goes a long way.
Kids LOVE spectators, but remember to stay upbeat and appropriate. “Great job!” or “Good running!” are absolutely appropriate and welcomed during a game. Remember, kids are there to exercise, learn to play the sport, and MOST of all have fun!
Stefanie Weiss
ASK STEFANIE
Mental Health Consultant
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