Dear readers,
On August 3, 1978, then-President Jimmy Carter signed a proclamation designating the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents’ Day. This year National Grandparents’ Day is on September 9, 2018.
Any of the 65 million grandparents in our country who are making significant differences in the lives of their grandchildren should be recognized and acknowledged, especially the three million grandparents who are raising their grandchildren.
As many of my readers know, there is a group of grandmothers who are near and dear to my heart, grandmothers who live nine thousand miles away: the Gogos of Swaziland (1), (2).
In today’s column, guest columnist Evan Quinones shares what he has learned about the Gogos. As Evan notes, “Being a grandmother in Swaziland is very different from being a grandmother in the United States!”
Evan Quinones, Intern
Palms For Life Fund
“Our mission is to advocate for and support the creation of infrastructure that provides access to education, food, water, and sanitation for vulnerable communities throughout Africa, Latin America, and Asia.”
Meet Evan Quinones
As a 2016 graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications and minors in Media Studies and Sociology, Evan Quinones was pleased when he was offered an opportunity to be an intern at the Palms For Life Fund. One of his assignments was to interview Mrs. Precious Nxumalo-Banks, a woman who started a social center for Gogos (grandmothers) in northwestern Swaziland.
The Gogos of Swaziland
By Evan Quinones
Precious Nxumala-Banks is a woman whose first name fits her perfectly! In 2012 Mrs. Banks identified an under-served group of grandmothers in Swaziland – Gogos in Swazi – and decided she wanted to help them. It started off with 16 Gogos arriving for a meal Mrs. Banks provided every Friday at a local community center. The Gogos would chat and share their stories about their lives. Mrs. Banks highlights that what makes the Gogos’ stories so fascinating is the fact that most of them are illiterate and got married when they were young, around 18 years of age.
Gogos Ntombizodwa Tfwala (left) and Lomdibaniso Magagula (right)
“They never went to proper school or they never worked any proper jobs,” says Mrs. Banks. “Just being born there has really deprived them of a good livelihood, because of extreme and widespread poverty.” For example, Swaziland currently holds the highest rate of HIV in the entire world; however, Science Magazine documents significant declining rates. That said, being a woman surviving into her seventies in Swaziland is quite an accomplishment.
In addition, Swaziland has been known to suffer from droughts that negatively affect the capability of the people to meet their daily water and food intake. So it is not just economic and health factors that contribute to the Gogos’ hard lives, but also environmental ones.
Mrs. Banks points out that although the Swazi government has tried to propose or enact legislation that could positively impact the Gogos’ lives, it just is not enough. The government has committed to a grant every month, but it is small and does not fully meet the needs of the Gogos. “Sometimes, they will give the grant to the Gogos after a three- or four-month wait,” says Mrs. Banks, “but what happens to the Gogos in between?” By the time a Gogo gets the next grant, she’s already borrowed money or begged for food.
(It is worth noting that other countries are considering the use of Granny Grants).
Mrs. Banks describes another contributing factor adding to the Gogos’ hardship, what she describes as the cycle of abandonment: the Gogos raise their own offspring, and then the Gogos’ children leave the rural areas for the city in search of work. However, what often ends up happening is that the priority shifts from finding work to having babies. When this happens, the babies are taken back to the Gogos to raise them, with no support from the children’s parents.
A Need for More Community and Government Involvement
When I asked Mrs. Banks what she sees as her greatest need regarding the Gogos, she said that she would like to see more involvement from the local community and the government. For example, she hopes that the government can somehow increase the grant that is currently given to the Gogos. Also, she believes that more people need to take on a leadership role on behalf of the Gogos, e.g., those in Parliament.
She explains, “There has to be legislation put in place. I am of the idea that there should be a law that compels every offspring of the Gogos to look after them. If my mother were alive, she would be a Gogo right now. The government should compel me to look after and support her because she supported me and put me through school.”
Helping the Gogos Is Rewarding
Yet, despite all the challenges the Gogos face, Mrs. Banks has remained nothing but positive. “What encourages me is seeing the Gogos with a smile, and the way they appreciate my trying help them is really self-fulfilling to me. Knowing that I’ve made a difference in this person’s life with one good meal keeps me going. When they say ‘God bless you,’ they mean it sincerely.”
Mrs. Banks (right) with Gogo Siphelele Ndwandwe (left)
In closing, I want to say that I am really inspired to learn about Mrs. Banks’s story and the work that she has done to make the Gogos feel respected, loved, cherished, and cared for in a country that is struggling in numerous ways.
I am pleased to be part of the Palms For Life Fund because it raises awareness about how basic life insecurities affect people like the Gogos of Swaziland.
Gogos socializing while receiving bags of food
Ask Dr. Gramma Karen is published every other Tuesday.
E-mail queries to Karen@mommybites.com
Dr. Rancourt’s most recent book is,
Ask Dr. Gramma Karen, Volume II: Savvy Advice to Soothe Parent-Grandparent Conflicts
