Readers Reflect and Commentate: A New Generation of Chiclets!

By Teenie and Randall Maddox

Randall’s Narrative

My wife Teenie is the matriarch (Wizard) of our family, a role at which she is unbelievably good! Next week, the women of our family are going to a beach in South Carolina to spend a week together. These trips have always been called Chick Trips. In the past, this group comprised Teenie, our two daughters, and our daughter-in-law.

This year, the next generation will be there, too: three granddaughters, and the wife of our grandson, all between the ages of 20 and 24. We refer to the young women as the Chiclets.

Teenie has bought special candles for each of the seven women, and I have handwritten an individual note to each. When they are all together, before Teenie gives them their candles and a personal note from me, she will read the letter below out loud to them. (I am known to them as “The Pap.”)

As you might imagine, I have spent hours on these individual notes and the group letter; Teenie has spent an enormous amount of time planning this trip.

This event is an important tradition in our family, as it is part of the tie that binds us together. It is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the love we have for each other.

The Pap’s Thoughts About the Yellow Brick Road

Dear Chiclets,

When the tin man, the lion and scarecrow appeared before the Wizard of Oz, we all knew they already had heart, courage and brains.   

Our Wizard has arranged this rite of passage to affirm that you are now women. Like in the movie, we all know that.   

This ceremony should not be passed through lightly or flippantly, however.  I suspect you already know I see each of you as young adults. I will continue to ask for your opinions on many matters and be swayed by such. I will, more than ever, follow your lead. I will include you in adult conversations. I will seek your guidance when I am confused or afraid. I will look for you to console me if I am upset. I will respect your ability to choose a husband/or not.

You are officially joining a small tribe of strong, intelligent and loving women. You can look at the generations that come before you as role models, but understand that it is time that you become role models. You are models for all women and men of the world, and particularly family members, including me. 

The generations will pass, but I rest easy knowing that the future of the world and our family is in your hands. Time and distance will challenge, but I ask you one thing that is rare in these times. I ask you to continue to assure that our family is bound together. You can teach your children and your children’s children that our family is very special, as we have taught you. You will someday be Wizards.  

Today the Wizard has brought small gifts from me for all of you to commemorate this event. Lock the memories of this special time in your heart forever. 

I Love you,
The Pap

Teenie Maddox (the “Wizard”) and Randall Maddox (“The Pap”)

Teenie Maddox (the “Wizard”) and Randall Maddox (“The Pap”)

Teenie’s Narrative

I believe in experiences and I want to gift memories. The three generations of our family live in different states, and at times we were in different countries. Although we gather for an annual, full-family vacation, we also know the importance of smaller groups and one-on-ones.

The Chick Trip is just that: a small gathering where the women of our family come together to share what’s going on in everyone’s worlds. We laugh, cry, discuss challenges, and we celebrate. It is an intimate week and the “what happens here, stays here” applies, although that is really more about the conversations than the actions. There has always been a spa day, a shopppppppiiing day (or two), dinners together at the house with everyone pitching in. And there are many evenings with a glass of wine in hand and a toast to something, to us, or to someone.
The Chiclets (my granddaughters) have wanted to join The Chick Trip for several years, but I felt they weren’t ready. And, quite honestly, I didn’t want to share my magical time with my daughters with anyone else. I wasn’t ready.

But now the four oldest granddaughters are ready, and so am I. They have grown into lovely women — kind, smart, and full of life as they continue to explore this adulthood thing and test their wings.

This was their first Chick Trip. Our time together was special and allowed us to further nourish, share, and continue to develop our commitment to one another and to our family.

Teenie (white suit) with her Chicks and Chiclets,
enjoying celebratory Mojitos at the Sanctuary Spa, Kiawah Island.
October 2017

Ask Dr. Gramma Karen is published every other Tuesday.
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Karen L. Rancourt’s most recent book is,
Ask Dr. Gramma Karen, Volume II: Savvy Advice to Soothe Parent-Grandparent Conflicts.

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