The Kinds of Moms You’ll Meet in Suburbia

suburban moms
Photo By Marmolejos/shutterstock

Like every city neighborhood, every suburb is totally different than the next—different personality, different vibe, different expectations.

You get the idea.

But, despite their differences, there are a few mom types who seem to pop up no matter where you go. In every suburb we’ve ever seen, these moms always seem to be right there, chatting at pick ups, screeching through the Starbucks drive-thru, grabbing a space at the barre and sprinting to the train in the morning. So who are they?

The REALLY On Top Of It SAHM

You know her—maybe you are her. This stay-at-home-mom knows everyone and everything, and can effortlessly connect you with exactly what you need—that last-minute sitter, restaurant recs, activities to try, teams to sign up for and the best brownies to buy at the bake sale. She’s practically telepathic—somehow she can suss out who’s who and what’s what without so much as batting an eye. And her kids? They’re always on time and on the ball—the apple doesn’t fall far in this family.

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The Always-Juggling Working Mom

Those balls? Yeah, they’re in the air—why wouldn’t they be? While the working mom can sometimes feel (and, OK, seem) a little harried, she somehow manages to do it all every single day. The kids are dropped off, the science projects are complete and there isn’t a hair out of place—and after that she heads to work for what’s, really, her second full day. You sometimes wonder if she ever sleeps… but now and again will remind all of the SAHM moms that she has greater meaning and don’t spill your kid drama over to her side of the soccer field…

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The PTA President

No one has more school spirit than THIS mom. Like the on-top-of-it SAHM, the PTA president has an uncanny head for details. She knows names, faces, places and everything in between, and can spit back info like it’s her J-O-B. And, really, it is, because this mom runs her PTA activities and meetings like a total boss. Spring fundraiser? It raised twice as much as last year. New playground equipment? Already installed. Those teacher appreciation gifts? Signed, sealed and delivered, thank you very much. She will often remind you that even if you don’t work, you work for her because she is in charge of EVERYTHING.

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The Green Juice Mom

She’s healthy, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed—and always toting around her signature travel cup or mason jar filled with homemade green juice. She made it herself before her kids woke up—after her morning run, before her post-drop off pilates class. Almost always sporting yoga pants and a perfectly coiffed updo, this mom is nothing if not totally enviable. Her work out outfits are a fashion statement and work of art…

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The Mom of Many/Multiples

She’s got enough kids for a basketball team. Whether it’s twins, triplets or just lots of kiddos, the Mom of Many has LOTS of people who count on her—and count on her to get them to swim, soccer, art, piano, yoga, tutoring, test prep…the list goes on and on. You can spot this mom by looking for the big car—there’s no way her crew is cramming into a five-seater.

Despite her crazy schedule of pickups, drop offs, playdates and school commitments, somehow everyone gets where they need to be when they need to get there, with permission slips signed, lunches in hand and projects complete. Oh, and don’t tell her how crazed you are if you only have two kids. Seriously, just don’t.

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The “LAID BACK” Mom

This one’s in quotes for obvious reasons. This mama is enviably chill on the outside, but scheming and calculating on the inside. No doubt you’ve met at least a few “laid back” moms on the playgrounds, at drop offs and in mommy and me classes before. Maybe you didn’t spot her at first, but soon enough you’ve got her figured out.

Mom The Martyr

She has kids and NO HELP. Didn’t know? Don’t worry, she’s happy to tell you over and over and OVER again. And did she mention her husband works late all the time? Because he does. And it’s so hard because she has to carpool AND volunteer AND walk the two dogs she decided to adopt AND cook organic meals straight from the garden AND clean her house…

And did she mention she has NO HELP? Because she doesn’t. Not an ounce.

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The Mom Who’s ALWAYS Put Together

Whether she’s out on the town, whizzing through drop off or sitting on the sidelines at a rainy soccer game, this mom always looks perfect. Perfect blowout. Spotless car. Perfect NON-mom jeans. Perfectly coordinated kids (do THEY get blow outs, too…?). And besides all that, playdates are always lined up six months in advance. Of course.

Every town has a mix of ALL of these moms. But understanding the concentration of each is what truly makes the dynamic of each town in the “suburban jungle” so different. And THAT’S what can truly make it or break it for you and your family.

girl kissing her nanny
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SuburbanJungleRealtyLogo2015_croppedforslideThe Suburban Jungle is an award-winning firm that specializes in moving families from urban to suburban. The company’s innovative “town first” approach helps buyers find the right suburb for their family based on personality and lifestyle, not just the house. Services are FREE and fully customized to each family and their unique journey.

The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.

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