What is the Line Between Mad and Pushover?

I am so mad all of the time, I don’t want to be, but I also don’t want to be a pushover. What do I do?

I am gonna take a load off of a lot of you. Ready? OK, hear me: “STOP BEING A GROWN UP!”

I hear the gasps and can see the contorted faces full of confusion, but just hear me out. We are mad all of the time because, well, we are mad all of the time.

Somewhere along the line, we totally forgot that we, too, were kids – and when we were, grown-ups were always up to our, umm, ya know, about everything that we did. “Don’t get messy.” “Why did you put blueberries in your water?” “Don’t jump in the puddles.” “Don’t touch that?”

Yup, we were kids too, and we need to remember that. See, the thing is, we get mad at things because we are grown ups and we are supposed to get mad, right? “Don’t touch that.” “Don’t do that.” “Don’t say that.” “How could you?”

Look, sometimes we do need to get serious ya know, when feelings and bodies are being hurt or when a child is just not taking care of what they need to – but sometimes we can just let it go.

So something spilled.  Like we don’t spill? And sure, they were probably being silly, but so what, kids are silly. WE should be sillier. Maybe they played in the mud and their pants got muddy or they spilled paint on themselves. That was the washing machine is for.

All of the pillows and blankets draped over the furniture? Sure, we could yell or we can get in that super cool fort.

If you are starting to get mad, ask yourself, “Why do I need to be mad? Is this unsafe? Unthoughtful?” No? Then maybe no need to get all angry. We don’t need to be mad and scream to get a point across and teach a life lesson.

Your child won’t clean up their toys?

No need to get mad – just be clear, “If you don’t clean the blocks they will go away. If you can’t clean them you cannot play with them today or tomorrow.” Then just put them away. Sure your kid will be mad, but you don’t need to be.

We can choose how we react to interactions with our kids.

If we want to be mad less often, then be mad less often. Really ask why. What about the situation is making you mad – not just mildly annoyed but MAD? The more that you do the more that you will find less and less to be mad about, and there will be more calm and fun in your home.

Like what you read? Check out our previous Ask & You Shall Receive here! Also check out our latest FREE online classes, parenting advice, jobs for moms, events, childcare listings, casting calls & raffles, and our Parents With Nannies Facebook group.

Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.

The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog contributor’s. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Writers may have conflicts of interest, and their opinions are their own.


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