All children need love and support during divorce – that is not news to anyone. In order to address the needs of your child(ren) during your divorce, it is important to recognize that children with special learning, emotional and/or social needs generally experience their parents’ divorce differently than more typical children. This is not a surprise to their parents, who already know that their child requires unique and individualized support.
In your role as advocate and protector, your intuitions about your child and/or prior diagnoses will most likely lead you to believe that your child could use some professional, specialized help to get through this life altering event more easily. You can’t do everything. It’s prudent to seek help.
Ask yourself some of the following questions. These questions will solidify your internal voice, which questions your child/children’s need for specialized help. And the answers to the questions will help your chosen professional to navigate proper, targeted, appropriate support services for your child. Many of theses questions are age specific:
- My child is very disturbed by labels in the back of his/her shirt or coat.
- My child hates to have her/his hair washed and doesn’t want to bathe.
- My child’s teacher has said that my child is not listening.
- My child is impulsive/distracted.
- My child does not finish what he/she starts.
- My child loses his/her things all the time.
- My child has temper tantrums and melts down more than once a week.
- My child has trouble with multiple directives.
- My child answers questions with words/ideas that don’t make sense.
- My child gets lost in ipad, ipod, x box games or apps.
- My child is disrespectful and hurts my feelings, by saying things like ”I hate you, I wish you weren’t my dad”.
- Says scary things that frighten me relating to how sad or angry he/she is.
- My child has trouble making friends.
Just the fact that you are concerned enough to do this bodes well for your child to get through the divorce process as well as possible. He/she has a parent/s who are paying attention to their child’s feelings and fears, and is committed to helping him/her adjust to a very difficult shift in family dynamics.
These are a sampling of the questions contained in the DivorceInformationNOW Parent/Child workbook. For more information, referrals or a copy of the Parent/Child workbook please contact us [email protected].
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