A Mommybites reader asks:
My kid Is SO Loud. I know that sounds awful because he and his sister are just having fun. But the volume. What can I do?
I hear ya. Some kids are particularly loud and it can really be a lot. I DO have some solutions that will feel good for everyone involved and get you a little peace and, well, almost quiet.
Let’s set the scene. Your kids are eating breakfast and they are talking about their day and it’s getting louder and louder and… simply and kindly have them take 3 sips from their cup.
I know sounds kinda simple, but simple works. It will lower the intensity and pause the yelling. They will most likely restart the convo at a lower amplification.
You can also begin the conversation with them by talking to them in a lower volume yourself. Do this while they are drinking to change the energy in the room. Again, seems simple- but it works AND your kid is hydrating. Woo Hoo.
Go somewhere else or have them GO
This sounds rough, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s all about intent and tone. If you’ve just poured your coffee and your kids are being loud at the breakfast table, step away for a moment. “I’ll be right back. You guys are doing great. I’ll be back in just a few.” Go take that coffee somewhere and enjoy it for a few minutes. You will return calm and recharged.
Leaving does not have to be an aggressive or punitive act: “You guys are having so much fun. I have to run up real quick, I’ll be back in a bit. Keep having fun.”
Sometimes the loud starts to creep into the unsafe
At a table, choking is a hazard. During play, the volume can lead to aggression. Maybe the room that they are in is not a room where loud should live. If it is THEM who needs the break, take action. Excuse them from the area.
Like the idea above, this is NOT punitive. You are just redirecting them to a more suitable space. “I love elephants, but the kitchen isn’t really a great elephant place – but the playroom is. Please take your elephant party there.” The fun can go on and you get a little quieter.
Change the subject
Sometimes kids, well, kids get LOUD – like HELLA loud. Our first instinct is to yell at them to be quiet. Ugh, grown-ups. The kids were just having fun. OK, I know, the fun can get really loud, like melt your brain loud. Here are some ways to shake things up but keep the fun going:
“Those legos look great. Tell me about what you are building.” Your child will take a breath and take it down a notch especially if you are speaking quietly. You can walk over and gently touch their shoulder. When they turn, smile. If they are old enough to know themselves, they will take it down a bit.
If things are getting a little bit crazy pants at a mealtime
“How is the pasta, guys? What are you gonna eat next, a meatball or that broccoli?” Again, you can also have everyone take three sips of water to reboot the volume. You can change the subject a little, but keep it something they would be interested in.
When your kids are loud
“Oh hey, guys. Your Aunt is coming today. What are you guys gonna do with her?” This will cause them to pause and think and move away from the hype-inducing conversation that they were having. That should take them down a bit.
Keep in mind that some folks are just loud
There are grown up folks who are super loud. It’s not something to punish – they can’t help it. Kids get loud when they have fun, so when you yell at them you are squishing their fun and ya know what happens then…..TANTRUM TOWN!!! You can redirect kindly and get the quiet that you need without being the killer of fun.
Lastly, keep in mind how much WE hate being shhhhhh’ed
Ya know when we get all excited and we get a little loud and the person that we are talking to tells us to, “SHHHHH, calm down.” It kills the mood, the excitement. It’s upsetting.
You are not doomed to live in a home where the noise is bouncing off of the walls 24/7. I could not live that way, but we also don’t need to punish fun and excitement. We could always invest in some good earplugs, sigh.
Do you have any more tricks to chill out the loud? Love to hear them.
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a professional Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.