Tell us a little about you and what makes you tick:
Personally: I am infertile. I had three miscarriages. I am a mom by open adoption, twice. AND I am still standing.
Professionally: My career started 20+ years ago in magazines. I was Director of Marketing at a large regional magazine before I started a PR Firm called The Fawcett Group in 1999. And then in response to my own journey to motherhood through adoption, in 2007 I created and launched Helpusadopt.org, a national 501(c)(3) social change organization that helps to make adoption more financially accessible to all.
What makes me tick? Building companies, telling the story, and helping others.
What or who inspires you?
I am surrounded by inspiration on a daily basis. My children and their birth mothers are my personal source of inspiration. Outside of my family, my inspiration comes from watching other people struggle to build their families – no matter what that looks like. We are all in this struggle to become parents together, and everyone – no matter how strong you are – needs a shoulder to lean on.
What is the best piece of parenting advice?
Let your kids be kids.
What is the worst piece of parenting advice you have heard?
Keep your kids busy every second of every day. Over schedule them, and expect and demand perfection. I hear this and I run the other way.
What is the most common question you are asked by parents?
I am frequently asked, “How do I start the adoption process?” and “When did you tell your children they were adopted?”
My answers: I am always happy to help someone with the information to get started in the adoption process – just call or email. And when did I tell them? The minute they were in my arms. In my case, they were newborns.
What are some of your favorite TV shows, books, and foods?
TV Shows… Grace and Frankie is one of my favorites, and also Transparent. Everyone wants to know why I haven’t started watching This is Us. I don’t really have an answer except for my life revolves around adoption most of the time and there are moments when it’s time for something different. Also, if I am being completely honest, any 80s or 90s sitcom re-run.
Favorite books? I am an avid reader and have read 59 books already this year – I read so many that it’s hard to pick a favorite, but one that truly stands out is A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. Look it up – it’s a must read for anyone.
And food… Mexican, Sushi and Sour Patch kids – clearly not at the same time.
What parenting books do you most recommend?
I didn’t read parenting books because, as the oldest of five, I really had some good “real life” experience. My sister is 20 years younger than me and there are three boys in the middle. But I just purchased How to Hug a Porcupine – it’s about dealing with the teen years. I’ll let you know how it goes.
As far as adoption books go, many are dated and antiquated. Adoption has changed tremendously in the recent past. Also, adoption is state by state law (not federal) and no two adoptions are the same. For that reason alone, it’s hard to write a universal adoption book. I do love Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos, which chronicles her journey to motherhood through foster care adoption. There is a great adoption resource guide in the back, and it was very exciting to see Helpusadopt.org mentioned there twice.
What are some of your favorite parenting products?
Hands down the ExerSauser, the aquarium swing, and the dinosaur shaped chicken nugget.
If you could be someone for a day who would it be and why?
I would like to be the person who is going to make a $1 million donation to Helpusaodpt.org. There are so many kids who need help and we can’t help them simply because as a small, ten-year-old organization, we haven’t been able to raise all the funds needed yet. If I could write the check myself, I would. Perhaps this would have been Steve Jobs – not only was he a brilliant innovator, he was adopted. #kidsneedhomes #homesneedkids
What’s up next for you professionally?
I wouldn’t mind seeing a Helpusaodpt.org TV Show called “Faces of Adoption” ™
I don’t get asked this anymore because my kids are 12 and 8, but there was a time when everyone and their mother would ask me, “Are you going to adopt a third?” The sad reality here is that I always thought I would have three children. And if I had done this the old fashioned, way I might have. But we just couldn’t afford a third adoption. It really is expensive and people really do need help to afford it. An average adoption is $40,000. We spent nearly $200,000 after-tax dollars between the IVF and adoptions of our two children.
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